Who decides what perfection is? Is there such a thing? I do not believe that there is. Everyone has flaws; after all, those flaws are what make us unique, in my opinion. I am far from perfect. I am taller than most women standing at 5’9”, I am not a stick figure, I have curves, and parts of me may be considered “too big” for some. I have tattoos in many places as well, and many individuals consider those as being imperfect. That is okay because I am happy in my own skin. I do not let my height stop me from rocking a hot pair of pumps, and I do not let my curves prevent me from wearing a sexy black dress. Being content and accepting yourself is the most important thing. Unfortunately, our society makes that a bit hard, which brings me to my main point.
I am 26 years young and a newly published author. I am also passionate about reading. I read all genres, but my first love is romance. My debut novel, Succumbing to Scars and Sorrow (book 1 of the Sorrow Series) is a contemporary erotic romance book; it is raw, edgy, taboo, emotional, real, and pushes the boundaries. It is considered the polar opposite of a “social norm”. Who decides what is socially normal? And who is given the right to make such assumptions?
My debut follows the life of Lyla Harper, a 23 year old young woman living in Chicago, Illinois. She recently graduated from Loyola University and lands an internship at a prestigious public relations and marketing firm. She plans to center her life on her career, hoping to never confront her earlier years. She grew up in a tiny southeastern Kansas town, but leaves soon after graduating from high school. She tries to leave the horrendous memories behind as well. Unluckily, her past has a way of finding her no matter how well she tries to hide.
Lyla Harper is beautiful, strong, independent, and a survivor. I told a tale of overcoming ghastly events and learning to love and accept yourself. Lyla suffers years of verbal, sexual, emotional, and physical abuse. She is made to feel unworthy and unlovable. She is a size 12, has curves, has several tattoos, and her stomach is covered with dozens of scars. Her belly is the evidence of how she coped with years of hateful abuse. Those scars are the evidence of her past, a past that she tries so desperately to disassociate herself from. How many romance novels do you read that have a female lead such as Lyla in it? Not many, right?
I wanted to convey a strong message to my readers; you are lovable, worthy, and deserving of happiness. Lyla’s story isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is inspiring. She does find love. It isn’t an easy journey, but Everett Brown will make her believe in it, and more importantly, make her see she warrants a joyful and delightful life. Women like Lyla Harper exist and live across the globe. There are millions of women who have endured what she has, but remain silent out of fear or judgment. Many women have also experienced verbal and emotional abuse during their high school years. That leads to a low confidence level, internalization, depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I took a giant leap of faith and put her story out there. It is a telling tale and some parts may not be easy to read, but I needed to let all those women out there realize that they deserve a happily ever after. By not recognizing that such women exist only makes the situations worse and enables the continuation of labeling “social norms”. Lyla is an everyday woman; your friend, sister, daughter, cousin, co-worker, acquaintance, church parishioner, the list is endless. I am happy that I took a chance to write a novel that isn’t a typical read. I will be releasing three additional installments as well as a prequel novella. You can read the first two parts of my prequel on my blog at marypalmerinauthor.blogspot.com. A big thanks to Imperfect Women for this amazing opportunity to do a guest post!
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Mary E. Palmerin has been writing short stories and poems since the age of 8. When she isn’t chasing after her two small boys, she is writing or has her nose in a good book. She enjoys all genres, but her first love is romance. She is married and has two young boys. She currently resides in Southern Indiana and is hard at work completing the Sorrow Series. The second book of the Sorrow Series, “Shadows of Scars and Sorrow”, has a tentative release date for Spring 2014. Mary has also written a prequel novella to Succumbing to Scars and Sorrow. It is called “Secrets of a Broken Girl” and the release date is a surprise reveal.
Great blog. This is true though, people bullying other people who they think they are not a perfect fit for them or their environment. But who are they to judge!?
You’re right – everyone has flaws & that is exactly what makes us unique and special!
I agree. Everyone has flaws and who should decide what perfect is anyway?
i agree with you i am 40 years old so i know what inperfections are , everyone has them that is what makes us so unique
Wow…. good review and the book sounds like one I would like too! I’m hoping Santa brings me a kindle this year… or I win one whichever is the case I would be fine with hehe but seriously though I would like to read your book when I can find the time! I’m not a very avid reader…. or wasn’t. I have to find something that draws my attention. I finally caved and read 50 shades trilogy to get me back into reading after a few years break. Will put this on my list of to-reads though! 🙂
Thank you all so very much! I hope you have the chance to read my first book. My second novel is due to be released this Spring. I welcome your feedback. I feel very strongly about Lyla’s story! Thank you, again to Imperfect Women for giving me this wonderful opportunity!
There are many woman who think that perfection is what the “media” tells them it is–of course this is not true–as the song goes “Everyone is beautiful in their own way”–if only all women would embrace this idea. I applaud you for writing this much needed book-even though it is fiction-it has that germ of truth which needs to be told. On my TBR list.
I’m glad you mentioned this
Forget “perfect” – it doesn’t exist! Everyone is human and therefore comes with quirks and issues. I cannot wait to read your book!
This is such a brilliant theme! I really want to read this book. Even though it may be difficult to read some parts I think it will have great lessons we all need to learn.
There is no such thing as perfection! Everyone is flawed!
No one should be judging anything as we are all not perfect but ironically – we are perfect just the way we are. We all have flaws but that what is unique with each of us and it’s okay. It has beauty in it, too.
I’m all for anything that encourages women to be happy with who they are. This sounds like an interesting read.
Your comments make my heart smile! Absolutely true. Every one of them. Unfortunately, it isn’t easy for many women to feel confident, beautiful, worthy, and loved. If you have a chance to read my book, I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you ladies!!!
What a great post! Everyone has flaws and as long as we are comfortable and confident in our own skin that is all that matters.
powerful messages here. I think the most important one is to find value in ourselves and believe in who we are
Good point, not one is perfect!!! The book sounds like a good read and one I would enjoy!
I agree with you completely. I had to do a review once for a workout program and said to my readers that I would not share before and after photos because I liked how I looked when I started and would like how I looked when I finished. Most were shocked that I was that confident. I am not perfect, just happy. We are all beautiful just wish we all knew it.
I plan to read this! I feel like it will break my heart though… our maybe empower me!
Wow 26 years old and a published writer! Fabulous! And you have wisdom to boot! Youth and wisdom is a powerful combination! 😉
I look forward to reading more of your work!
I think this sends a great message. It’s so important that we define ourselves and not allow ourselves to be defined by others.
Mary, once again you inspire me! Every woman is beautiful, regardless of height, size, looks or race. Anyone that hasn’t read Lyla’s story needs to. She is not your typical heroine, but you will fall instantly in love with her, flaws and all. Because who of us out there is perfect? Great job!
I wanted to convey a strong message to my readers; you are lovable, worthy, and deserving of happiness.
Good for you! I love your message.
Our imperfections make us who we are. We all need to start being proud of them instead of questioning. I’m raising my girls with this, it’s ok to be different, and there just isn’t “perfection” Ever. Strive to be YOU. As a single person, that’s who the world needs to know. I would love to read your book, it sounds great
Why does society push perfection at anyone be they man, woman, or child. Everyone has flaws of some sort. It doesn’t have to be physical where everyone can see it. Most people have imperfections inside of their selves because society tells everyone if you are a certain weight or drive a paticular car, wear the right clothes and makeup you are then deemed perfect. But by doing this to become perfect you are losing your true self.
Everyone does have flaws, embrace them as they make you unique & YOU 😀
That’s a good message to get out into the public!
Just read your review on the blog and this sounds like a book that I would enjoy reading 🙂
I am a perfectionist and this sounds like a book I would enjoy reading.
No matter how hard we try to be “perfect” there will always be something wrong in someone eyes people die trying to be that perfect person but I would really love to read this book!
This is very true. No one is perfect but everyone tries to be
Wow, this sounds like a really great read. Lyla sounds like an amazing character as well. You are so right, who really decides what perfection is? What really does it mean to be perfect. Too much pressure!
The book sounds like a really emotional and powerful telling, well worth reading and with a good lesson interwoven.
I think that who ever we allow to decide what is perfection makes that decision. people can try to tell us what perfection is, but if we don’t accept it as perfection, then we are the ones who decide
Being perfect is too hard. I strive to be unusual, unique, and quirky. Much easier to attain!
I like how you placing the female lead in a strong position even with her past issues
I am not sure who decides what perfection is and what cookie cutter world we are supposed to live in. Most peoples disappointment is a flawed sense of what perfection means,
There is no one vision of perfection, and kudos for living up to your own version. The story sounds raw and real and gripping – and many congrats on success so young!!
Wow! I’m overwhelmed by the amount of amazing feedback. Thank you all for taking the time to read this post!!! I’m grateful to have written such a telling story. More importantly, I am overjoyed at the amount of people I’ve touched. I’ve superseded my goal, and that was writing a story that grips people’s hearts. That means more than any amount of book sales or rank! Thanks again, to Imperfect Women!
I love myself even with my flaws, no one is perfect and we need to be so judgemental
I like how you relate books to everyday experiences. It’s so true that society deems people “normal” but doesn’t realize that this leaves people out. It’s really sad and it also makes people feel like they’re not good enough.
Mary, congrats on being a published author. I hope this doesn’t sound sexist at all, but I am totally impressed you accomplished this while being the mom of two young boys. 😉 I am sure your days are very busy – it says a lot about your determination and talent that you wrote and published this story. Way to go! And thanks for the reminder all women (really all humans) need to hear more often – we need to be comfortable in our own skin!
Everyone should read and understand!There is no such thing as perfect. Great job..:)
Everyone feels pressure to be perfect but no one person can say what is and or is not oerfect. Really there’s no such thing.
I love wrinkles! I love elderly faces with deep, ingrained laugh lines. There’s something fabulous about the fact that your face will eventually crease in the position you leave it the most. I was excited the first time I noticed I had crows’ feet (and I still love them!) I love my body and my looks more now that I am older. part of that is that I’m more athletic than I was in my teens and early 20s. part of it is that as things “settled”, they moved into patterns that I recognized from my childhood. I see my mother’s belly and breasts in the mirror, and on body-positive days I celebrate the continuity I feel to all the women before me. I have a more ambiguous relationship to my grey hairs that are sprouting, perhaps if they organized themselves into zingy streaks I’d love them more. However, I stubbornly refuse to color them. I have earned each one over the years, I don’t mind that they are there.
Your character Lyla sounds so interesting. And yes, there are many like her scarred by life, trying to make it in the world and hoping to have a hand to hold as they grow old.
Everyone is deserving of love and in my 50 years, I have never met anyone who is perfect. Only those who think are they are perfect (which is their imperfection, lol).
I like a real story with real characters. And, I also love your message.
Again, I’m extremely moved by all the positive feedback! Thank you all for taking the time to read this article. I feel strongly about it along with the plot of my book. I’m grateful!
It was great having you, Mary! Good luck with your book and Happy Holidays!
All I can say is, people need to get their head out of the sand. Life is not like the fairytales. We dream of families that don’t hurt us and feeling safe when we go to bed, but it is not always real. people are what and who they are for a reason, so if you don’t like what you see, maybe you should get to know them to find out why.
Thank you for this….I really needed to see and read this today since I am constantly overly striving for my idea of perfection….something I cannot attain.
I myself have some traumatic things in my past that I have yet to be able to confront. I think because of that this might be very hard for me to read but it sounds so good so I am adding it to my Kindle wish list. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Caitlan, I admire women such as yourself. I’ve heard many stories from my readers that are also survivors. I want every one of you to know that you’re beautiful and worthy, and to hold onto hope. Hope is such a beautiful thing to have, yet so difficult to believe sometimes. Thank you for your feedback. Again, I’m amazed at the outpouring of positive comments I’ve received. I’m grateful to Imperfect Women for this opportunity!
I cant wait to read you’re book and as a woman who is 5ft 10 in tall i love to wear my heals to. I have scars both visible and not visible but i have curves and i am 44 years young. I am fortunate to have a great husband of 18 years who loves all of me and tells me every day thank you for your inspiration.
That’s wonderful. I’m glad that you have that. Every woman is beautiful and unique. Flaws are what make us imperfectly perfect! I’m imperfectly perfect and proud of it! Thank you for reading my article. I hope you get a chance to read my book. The sequel is releasing in April and the prequel is releasing next month.
I will ask for it for my Birthday next month on the 23rd can not wait.
Wow, this is really a great article, and it sounds like a great book – hard to read, but really touching.
I have a 10yr old granddaughter who takes Karate. She recently fill out a Goal-setting form called Powerful Project. One of her answers worried me. The question was ..WHICH OF THESE CAN STAND IN YOUR WAY?
Answer choices were Procrastionation/perfectionism/pushback/pessimism/projection(blaming)/Pandemonium and Panic. She picked Perfectionism (must be perfect). Is there cause for concern???