By Danae Matthews
I have a bone to pick with women. Recently I was watching the latest installment of “The Real Housewives” series and a common theme dawned on me. These women are obsessed with class. Not having it, not exuding it, not taking one, but rather consistently calling one another out on the lack thereof. Anything from a dirty mouth to the wrong color of dress at a cocktail party can and will be deemed on “The Real Housewives” as classless. Regardless of the fact that I don’t personally run in the same circles as these women I find this kind of thought process creeping into the inner workings of my own social groups. Women I know are all too quick to stand behind their glass walls of classy delusions throwing stones of judgment. They however like their television counterparts couldn’t spell class if someone gave them the first four letters.
I don’t necessarily mean this about all my friends, I run with pretty classy ladies. I mean this more in reference to the general state of womanhood and femininity as it stands to date. This is dawn of an age where women cancel plans over a text message because calling takes too much gull. These are the days that women cut each other down in an effort to maintain the status of the “real” friend. We are living in an era where classlessness is running rampant and yet we want to believe that we are the defenders of sophistication.
How is it that we can turn a blind eye to one form or another of deception against class and yet admonish one another for a matching shoe and purse set? One might say that our priorities have fallen into disarray. I would argue yes. The truth of the matter is that “class” refers to a way in which a woman carries herself, walks into a room, conducts a conversation, but I would say most importantly treats people.
And when I say treats people, I mean all people. I cannot tell you how many times I have been embarrassed around acquaintances or yes, dare I say even friends, by the way that treat service people or perhaps just people that they weren’t interested in talking to. I’ve had friends talk down to waiters, taxi drivers, bag-boys- take your pick. These are the very same friends with the most expensive things who think that because they sit at the top of the socioeconomic ladder, they don’t ever have to look down.
This kind of behavior isn’t just limited to just strangers. Some women I’ve met who hold themselves in high esteem treat their “friends” with horrible manners. A woman of sophistication always remembers that friendships are gifts given to you by other people and can be returned at any moment. If you are sitting on a high horse believing that your friends are just so lucky to have you in their life, they are probably on the way to the register receipt in hand. It is not your job to keep your friends in check because you think you have so much to teach them about style, maturity or taste; if they didn’t ask, butt out!
The most important thing to remember is that a woman that deems herself classy remembers that if she is, she never has to talk about it. She doesn’t have to throw the word around and certainly doesn’t have to call people out on their lack thereof. We are all going to have moments of imperfection where we say something we wish we hadn’t, hurt someone’s feelings, etc…No one can sit in a glass forever without it receiving at least a couple cracks.
About the Author:
Danae Matthews is living, loving and working in San Francisco. She writes for an on-line health resource Women’s Health Base.