By Robin Covington
I have a friend who is a clown.
Really.
She is a trained, birthday party entertaining clown who has the red rubber nose to prove it. She loves dressing up and hanging with the kids, loves bringing smiles, and she loves to juggle. I’ve even seen her do it in the office when she’s thinking through a problem. The balls – red, yellow and blue- rotate and sail through the air and never hit the ground. It’s mesmerizing.
It’s impossible.
I am no good at it. I can’t keep them all up in the air. I panic. I don’t know where to look. I grab when I should lift and they all fall to the ground at my feet.
Luckily, I’m a wee bit better at juggling all the roles and responsibilities in my life. Like so many of you, I am many different women: a wife, mom, daughter, sister, lawyer, and a romance novelist.
I love it all but it pulls me in crazy directions. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me and he is one of the few people who can make laugh and make me want to kill him in the same day. My kids are my joy and I lie awake at night terrified at how quickly they are growing up. My work as an attorney for the United States Navy is alternately fulfilling and boring – it is a job after all. And my passion . . . writing . . . is the best thing in the world and also the most exhausting.
Juggling.
We do it every single day. Right?
All that is missing from my life is the big floppy shoes and the clown car (although my vehicle resembles one on car pool day).
I once saw Nora Roberts speak at a writers conference (I also got to talk to her and have my picture taken with her – total fan girl moment) and she spoke about the discipline to be an author and how to balance it with the life I have with people that exist in the real world and not just in my imagination. She acknowledged that we all juggle these things and noted that some of our balls are rubber and some are glass. So true.
The key is not to drop the ones that are glass.
Oh – but I do.
Not on purpose. But I can’t tell you how often I watch a glass ball sail through the air, the sunlight of my best intentions glinting off the surface for that split second before it crashes to the floor and shatters.
Cue the guilt. Signal the firing squad. I am the worst Mommy/Wife/Daughter/Author ever.
Oh no. Not anymore. I gave up guilt for Lent about five years ago. I also banished Wonder Woman back to the island of the Amazons (I did keep the truth lasso to use on my kids when they hit the teens years and I snagged her bra because her boobs were a-maz-ing). I’ve decided to embrace my lack of perfect coordination and forgive myself when I slip up on occasion.
I’m going to drop things every once in a while and I’ll do my damnedest to make sure they are the rubber balls. I’m going to over commit (sure I can help out with the PTA bake sale and make 500 crepe paper flowers for the dance!) and I’m going to miss something. My kids will not have homemade Halloween costumes and I’ll bake canned biscuits at Thanksgiving. And yes, when I’m on book deadline my house cleaning will disintegrate to the point where the neighbors think we’ve been robbed.
For me . . . these things are not glass.
Glass is the good stuff.
Glass is making sure that my kids and husband are loved. Glass is dropping everything when a loved one is in need. Glass is pursuing my passion to write novels and teaching my kids that hard work makes dreams come true.
And the biggest part is realizing that I am glass. I’m transparent, covered with smudges from sticky fingers and sweet kisses but still beautiful in my imperfection. I try to reflect the light that warms the people I love and chases chase away the dark parts. Glass is cultivating what makes me happy and nurtures my soul so that I can share that with the people in my life.
Glass gets broken from time to time.
And living is sweeping up the broken pieces, reaching for another and trying again tomorrow.
Robin Covington, who NYT Best Selling authors, Robyn Carr and Carly Phillips, said was their new “auto-buy author”, writes sizzling hot contemporary and paranormal romance. A Night of Southern Comfort, her best-selling debut was nominated by RT Book Reviews for the 2012 Best Contemporary Romance from an Indie Press for bringing a “fresh, modern feel to the genre while still sticking to the things that get our adrenaline pumping — sex and danger”. When she’s not exploring the theme of fooling around and falling in love, she’s collecting tasty man candy, indulging in a little comic book geek love, and stalking Joe Mangianello.
Robin’s latest release is Sweet Southern Betrayal. You can find Robin on her website, Facebook,Pinterest, and Twitter (@RobinCovington).
What a marvelous attitude this multi faceted woman (aren’t we all) has! It is so true that there is no possible way that we can be all things and do ever single thing perfectly–no way!! I have never read any of her novels and I think it is time to find one of them and read it!
There is definitely an art to how we women can juggle well. Of course we try to keep all the balls in the air, but sometimes one may fall. We keep juggling. I need to get into reading novels more, but that would be one more thing to juggle 🙂
I love her positive and forgiving attitude. When we mess up, we can start over and try to do better the next time.
What a great article. We are all clowns like she said, but every day we have another chance to do our best. Something we need to remember.
This is a great reminder that we are not perfect and although we try to do our best – stuff happens. Glad we get another chance to try it again tomorrow 🙂
Women have always had to be great at juggling. You are so right … sometimes, we drop the glass and it breaks, but that never stops us from getting up there and trying again.
I need a “Like” button for this post! So yeah, I’m sharing on FB and “liking” it. Well said.
i think women are much better at juggling then men i sometime think it’s in our DNA to be able to do so especially after becoming parents
Thank you all for your kind words – have a great day! Robin
Robin, please you for your article. You completely understand (I get the lasso and Wonder Woman bra perfectly!) I am a single mom and maintaining control with two young boys and a house is what drives me. Constant reminders are there about what I can’t handle but at the end of the day I have to remind myself that what DID get done was exactly what was SUPPOSED to get done and the rest….well, wasn’t important. I kiss my sons and they know I am there for them no matter what and that is ALL that matters. Keep up the writing. Bless you BIG!
I absolutely love this post! at first I thought it was going to be about juggling balls at a birthday party but loved the fact that you took it beyond of juggling with life things. There is so much juggling a mom has to do from getting the kids ready for school, breakfast and making sure they are at school on time, from car pooling them here and there and everywhere, to trying to get laundry, dishes, beds made and so much more..then there are bills,grocery shopping which I’m lucky husband does those. and Yes sometimes the glass get’s broken- but the main thing is to let the family know how much I love them and will always be there for them. So thanks so much for this post! because out of all the juggling in life you have to do nothing is more important then to just stop sometimes and give a cuddle, a hug a smile and let your loved ones know how much you love and appreciate them!
yes it is true we do juggle alot of things and at times its hard
So beautifully said! I love the analogy of juggling rubber and glass balls. What a great way to prioritize when things come up. By asking yourself “Is this rubber, or glass?”
Love this post! So true what you said about juggling and how well we all do it every single day even when we don’t want to.
You have to be pretty naive to think that everything is in a perfect world and Juggling is a major part of Life, To juggle the kids, bills marriage, in-laws to the maintenance on the car, the bank route the highway, the TV shows and not to mention eating breakfast lunch and dinner!!
this is a beautiful post! It touches base on all the things that us women struggle with. Guilt, feeling not good enough, and the importance to give us a break and just do our best and focus on what is truly important. And when we mess up; don’t beat ourselves up. but get up and get back to doing our best.
What a great post and it is really true that we juggle and it is not easy! Everyday is another day and another challenge to face.
we juggle many thing women tend to be better at it as we get bored with focusing on just one thing at a time.
I think all of us have to juggle so many things in our lives, us women especially. I’m juggling my son, my home, my job… And it can get really stressful. Thank you for the post, I can totally relate with it.
I am not able to juggle and would never consider juggling with glass because they would just break. It would be fun to be a clown (unless the kids are terrified of them which does happen). I need to learn to juggle better (with life at least)
Robin is so lucky to have had the chance to meet Nora Roberts. My sister and I spent most of our late teens reading her novels!!
I love the idea of our juggled things being balls, and some of them glass. Sometimes you feel tHat when the glass breaks, life is over. But I agree, you can sweep ’em up and start again!
I’ve heard Nora Roberts talk about discipline and she’s right. Thank you for the reminder that life happens and we can always sweep up and start over again.
I think that juggling is awesome and I know that it is a fine art that requires a certain amount of skill.
This post is very realistic and so inspiring and a reminder that we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves – there is always room to make things better – improvement.
See I love reading post like this cause I seem to be very hard on my self and this just reminds me that in time things can change! Ps I have always wanted to juggle!
What a great post ! Inspiring but oh so true 🙂
Robin, I love your voice! I have come to the point in my life where I believe that if some balls aren’t falling, I am not challenging myself enough!
I liked this post (apart from the mention of a clown sorry i really hate clowns)anyway women on a whole are always juggling so much things at once but if you drop a “few balls” its not the end of the world just pick it up and start again.
I love the authors perspective on things. I love how she is very realistic on family being showered with love, the real glass that matters.
Thanks so much for all of your wonderful comments! I really appreciate you stopping by. Robin
I love Nora Roberts! yes, we all juggle everything in our lives and it’s ok to let the ball fall once in awhile!
This really means… try and try again. We live in our trials.
As women we do feel like jugglers sometimes so it sounds really interesting.
I think women juggle more things than anyone else on the planet. This is such an aspiring post, don’t ever give up! We all struggle every once in a while but no we can never give up and don’t ever let guilt take over.
I love her attitude. We need to forgive ourselves and be able to move on without guilt.
We often have to juggle balls that others may not see that we are juggling, such as a child with special emotional needs that does well only because of the structure and effort we put into it or a health condition or a family conflict. We have to be kind to ourselves even when others judge us harshly for letting balls fall now and then
I used to juggle everything, I let the balls fall, and just picked them back up one at a time when I needed to. Guilt was gone, it’s refreshing to pick up the ball at the moment that is the most important. Great post!
What a nice way to start the morning. I enjoyed the honesty of this article. I can say there have been many times that I have dropped the glass in spite of best of intentions. But, you live and learn. So,I love that we are also glass.
Thank you for banishing Wonder Woman, can I borrow that lasso of truth? Lol