Everyone’s favorite clueless narcissist is back! Yes, like that orangish-pink mold in the bathroom that you just can’t quite get rid of, Rielle Hunter has returned. She made news last week with her Huffington Post piece, in which she admitted what everyone figured out years ago: she’s a trifling ho, she was wrong to have an affair with a married man whose wife was dying of cancer. Yes, Rielle Hunter’s moral compass, previously pointing relentlessly due ME ME ME ME ME ME!!! has found true north, and she’s had a revelation: Adultery is Wrong.
Good for you, Rielle! Here; have a cookie; you’ve earned it.
But wait! What’s that you say? It’s no coincidence that the new, improved, less skanky Rielle has emerged from her hole, like a syphilitic Punxsutawney Phil predicting six more weeks (at least) of fame-whoring? Ms. Hunter has an ulterior motive, you say? She’s actually shilling her
new old new-old book, In Hindsight, What Really Happened: The Revised Edition: John Edwards, Our Daughter and Me? Do tell!
Well, maybe I’ll let Ms. Hunter herself explain it:
“My publisher came up with the idea of me going through my book and annotating all of my regrets and mistakes.”
I’m hoping it goes something like this:
Mistake #1: Writing this bullshit book
Mistake #2: Republishing this bullshit book with new (bullshit) material in order to make more money and get more public attention
Mistake #3 Having an affair with a married man whose wife was dying of cancer
Mistake #4 Appearing in GQ magazine posing sans pants nestled amongst her daughter’s stuffed animals
Wait, that doesn’t look right; better move #4 up to #1. (Appearing in public pantsless is *always* the biggest mistake you can make; the stuffed animals just send the whole thing over the Bad Idea Cliff and down WTF Falls.)
Anyway, this new old new-old version of Hunter’s magnum opus is annotated with “notes that acknowledge what I couldn’t when I wrote the book.” So I’m imagining it reads something like this:
“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. (God, I suck.) Blah blah. (What the hell is wrong with me?) Blah blah blah. (Lying here.) Blah blah blah blah. (And here.) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. (Here too.) Blah blah. (Still lying.) Blah blah blah. (OMG, that was SUCH a lie!) Blah blah blah blah. (But still, I think I looked good wearing no pants and sprawled amongst my toddler’s stuffed animals. Right? Don’t I?) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. (Some more lying here.) Blah blah. (Really, this whole chapter is pretty much a complete lie.) Blah blah blah blah. (I wonder what kind of advance I can get for What Really Happened, Part 3: The Annotated Version of the Annotated Version?)
Rielle Hunter’s book is on sale now, wherever (trashy) books by (trashy) people writing about (trashy) events are sold. Don’t pick up a copy today.
Jennie has contributed to Imperfect Women since its inception in 2009. She writes about politics, celebrity news, and anything else that catches her interest.