I have been on the “Road To Reinvention” for a few years now and it all started with a decision. I knew I was unhappy, bored, working too much, and really had lost myself both physically and mentally. I would look in the mirror and wonder, “Is that really what I look like?” I was so used to saying “yes” to doing for others; my son, husband, mom, or a client, that I did not know how to say “yes” to myself. It was even harder to say “no” to things that I didn’t have time for or really wanted to do.
One of my favorite quotes is: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha
Here are Seven Steps that helped me get on the Road To Reinvention:
1. Take Stock
In order to start the process of reinventing yourself you have to have a starting point. It is time to be brutally honest with yourself. Often we tolerate so much for so long that we lose sight of our authentic, beautiful, and loving self. Ask yourself, “What am I tolerating that I really shouldn’t?” Set a private time to write down your thoughts and keep writing no matter what comes up or how painful. You cannot fix what you cannot acknowledge.
2. Have A Vision
What helped me with creating a vision of what I wanted was to answer the question: “If money was not an issue and I knew I could not fail, what would I really want to do with my life?” Using a Vision Board where I posted pictures and sayings that “spoke to me” really helped. It had been so long since I thought of my dreams that I really didn’t know what I liked or felt called to do.
3. Choose A Destination
Once you get the idea that you want to “reinvent yourself,” you may feel like you want to change everything. At least that is how I felt! Choose one or two things that are most important to you. For me it was feeling joy and fun and taking better care of my health and appearance. What I found is that once you start changing one aspect of your life for the better, every aspect of your life changes too.
4. Gather Supplies
What do you need to get on the “Road To Reinvention?” The most important thing is an open mind. Start really looking at who you surround yourself with, what type of music do you listen to, what are you watching on TV, etc. Start cultivating people who support your changes and inspire you in person and online. One of my favorite influencers has been Tonya Leigh of French Kiss Life. She has totally changed my thinking about taking care of myself and surrounding myself with “luxury”… whatever your definition of that is.
5. Create A Road Map
Once you have decided what aspects of your life you want to change, you need a “road map” to get there. Remember reinventing yourself is a work in progress and all it takes is a few small changes to feel better. For me waking up and hour early and having a really nice breakfast with a cup of brewed hot coffee changed the whole course of my day. I usually will grab an inspirational book or listen to some mediation on line during that hour.
Do you want to start writing? Sign up for a writing course at the local community college. Want to work with animals? Volunteer at one of the local shelters. Want to be around women who are also at a new stage in their lives? Join a Meetup or find a free Online Community. Find your Tribe. They are out there.
6. Follow A Guide
One of the things that really helped me is reading about people who have pulled themselves out of the depths of depression, poverty, and physical and emotional pain. They have used their experiences to create lives of joy, purpose, and passion. Find someone who has accomplished what you want and follow them. Whether you want to lose weight, have an organized home, or learning to put yourself first, there are many women doing just that and sharing it all for free online. Reading an hour every day really changed my perspective. My “Bible” was The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. She asked the important question, “How do you really want to feel?”
7. Take A Solo Day Trip
It’s probably been a very long time since you went off by yourself for a little “mini vacation”. Trust me the kids, spouse, work, and even the pets will survive if you are gone for a day! Ask yourself “Where do I want to go that would serve my reinvention?” and go there. It might be an art museum, the beach, high tea, a cooking class, or even spending the whole day alone in your pajamas reading books. Treat yourself as you would a special guest! For me this was not as easy as it sounds, because we are so used to putting ourselves last. Now it is a habit and so worth it.
I hope this has inspired you to put yourself first and realize we can create the woman we really were meant to be. Follow me next time when I go into more depth about each step on The Road To Reinvention.
Holly Zucker is a wife, mother of a grown son, business owner and on the “Road to Reinvention”. After feeling like she had “lost herself” she has spent the last few years bringing back joy, pleasure, passion, fun, and community into her life. Her mission is to help other women “reinvent themselves” and start living their dreams and desires. We’ve done so much for everyone else, it’s our turn now!