By Jennie
Hello, gossipnistas! Doesn’t it feel like in these dreary days of midwinter, the news is nothing but bad? First Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis break up (well, reportedly), and now Seal and Heidi Klum? And we’ve barely recovered from the death of Katy Perry’s 14 minutemonth marriage to Russell Brand or, dare we say it, the katastrophe that was Kim Kardashian’s marriage (will we ever get tired of making fun of the Kardashians by randomly starting words with “k”? Knot likely).
Anyway, fans are especially especially devastated about Seal and Heidi. Who will get custody of the Halloween parties? How can people who renew their vows every 3.5 days 12 months not make it? Don’t they have like 27 kids together? Sadly, sometimes people act really happy when they aren’t. Or, they’re really happy for a while, and then they aren’t. (Personally, I lost respect for Seal last year after reading about his paid attendance at a birthday party for a notorious Chechen warlord. This became big news because others, including Oscar-winner Hillary Swank, also attended. Swank, whom I can’t stand, at least later apologized, but Seal seemed defiant about the whole thing. Yuck.)
But this is far from the only sad news in the world of the lovelorn. Demi Moore has checked into rehab. Depending on which report you read, she’s either “exhausted” or anorexic, or possibly overdosed on nitrous oxide. I don’t know about you, but to me, inhaling nitrous oxide sounds like something her kids should(n’t) be doing; it doesn’t sound like the drug of choice for a 50-year-old woman. Oh, well, I guess there’s no age limit on bad judgment…
…speaking of which, which decision of Rihanna’s is stupider: to get “thug life” tattooed on her knuckles, or to (reportedly) still be seeing Chris Brown, who famously beat the crap out of her a couple of years ago? Do we have to choose? Both actions show really, really bad judgment on Ri-Ri’s part. Ugh, get it together, girl.
Halle Berry’s baby daddy Gabriel Aubry was accused this week by their daughter’s nanny of shoving her during an argument, while she was holding 3-year old Nahla. To be honest, we always sort of doubted Halle’s various claims against Gabriel; she seems rather neurotic and high-strung. But this does make us wonder. Pretty is as pretty does, model dude.
Finally, a little levity (I guess, unless you are really easily upset): Miley Cyrus continues to shatter our illusions that she’s just an innocent young girl by mugging with a penis cake (don’t ask) at a birthday party for her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. Keep it classy, Miley. Somewhere, dad Billy Ray’s mullet is sad and his heart is achy-breaky. (You’re welcome for the earworm.)
Jennie, you are the only one who can haul me in to read anything about Hollywood’s infamous. I have no idea what your day job is but I detect a little of Erma Bombeck in your managing wit in written form! Just too funny!
Thanks for a Friday snippet of laughter!
LMAO at “Knot likely”.
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Can you imagine what would happen to the world if Brangelina broke up? Good grief.
Jennie,
I love your “no age limit on bad judgement”. LOl. I guess Hollywoods stars need some publicity, good or bad. Who would have thought!
Happy Friday!
“No age limit on bad judgement”…..LOL LOL LOVE IT!!!! Truer words were never spoken!
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I also am not a fan of Seal and I have been highly disappointed he and Heidi were EVER married.
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As far as Rhianna goes…..not holding out much hope for her either.
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Ok, we get it Miley…..you aren’t 12 yrs old anymore. Take Jennie’s advice and put more effort into keeping it classy, sweetheart.
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So Halle Berry picks the prettiest man she can find to have a baby with and it turns out he’s not the nicest man around? Whoda thunk it??? She did not choose wisely.
Looks like the end of the Jon Gosselin and Ellen Ross romance too.
I feel bad for Demi. I know there were substance abuse problems when she was younger, but I thought they were long behind her. Hopefully, she is the right mind frame to accept help. She has many blessings and while a marriage ending is very difficult, I think she needs to concentrate on her health and moving forward. Good luck to her.
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As for Rihanna, I just have to say I shake my head at super rich and entitled celebrities identifying with “thug life.” Give me a break.
Deborah……lol I read that on ROL. Jon still thinks he’s a celebrity, asking for respect for their privacy…….that made me LOL.
Really Deborah? Is that on one of the rags? Well they will both move on. Lots of people end their relationships, pick themselves up and move on.
Can you imagine what would happen to the world if Brangelina broke up? Good grief.
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I would rend my garments and tear my hair out and run around like a crazy person and then take to bed for a week?
Pam, Jon announced it on his twitter and now the rags are running with it.
HB, you are so sweet! I loved Erma back in the day!
I haven’t ever been a big Rihanna fan and this doesn’t make me change my mind. Really – “thug life?” I mean, maybe it’s significant if you actually grew up in the ghetto/were in a gang/etc. But she’s from Barbados; she’s just trying to associate with a subculture that has nothing to do with her, and isn’t a very positive thing to associate with, anyway.
I like Halle Berry reasonably well, but she seems to have consistently awful taste in men.
Wow, so J&E broke up. They made it much longer than I thought. I think it’s for the best. I hope they both find that special someone.
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Jennie, you are the only one who can haul me in to read anything about Hollywood’s infamous.~HB
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HB, you are so right. We are so lucky to have her. Jennie’s celebrity writings beat anything I have ever read.
Jennie, you do have the ‘gift’ I’m not really into the celebrity thing but you do have the touch.
Thanks for the fun read!!!
For me the saddest break up was another post you had here at IW about the old couple who were married 70 years or something like that? ~LOL
But are now getting divorced because the husband found out the wife had an affair 40 years ago.
I wonder if he really went through with it?
I hear ya, Coco, it would be nice to find out how that worked out.
Once again lovin’ Jennie’s take on the Hollywood crowd!! 🙂
It seems that Jon and Ellen have split according ROL. I guess that love is not in the air anymore. 😉
Seal and Heidi were the last people I would have ever thought would split, they seemed so much in love.
As for Jon and Ellen, as much as I dislike Jon’s actions in the past I do wish him well and hope he finds that special someone one day. A little time alone might do him good since it seems like he just jumps from one relationship to the other.
Heidi and I have a dinner date this weekend!