As many of you know Robert Hoffman, former tabloid reporter and best buds with Jon Gosselin, has penned a tell all book on Kate Gosselin titled, Kate Gosselin: How She Fooled The World – Unedited. It certainly does appear to be unedited! According to the book’s own website, the book was yanked from the Amazon shelf at the request of attorneys who claim Hoffman is publishing written words that do not belong to him. In the book there are pages and pages of words belonging to other people. From complete articles he found on the net, to books as well 100’s of pages from journals and emails. He also has a mind-boggling number of tweets in the book, which he is probably safe in reproducing, as they are completely in the public domain. We won’t mention the fact that reading 100’s of pages of tweets is mind-numbingly boring.
Here at Imperfect Women we decided it was time to weigh in with our views of what is going on.
It was a dark and stormy night. The kind of night that’s dark and stormy. In the bowels of the basement in his suburban home, Robert Hoffman, small-j journalist and sometimes biblical scholar, sits surrounded by the remnants of Kate Gosselin’s Christmas garbage from 2011. He is a determined man. He wants to know exactly how many gifts the second-last Gosselin kid got for Christmas and he’s gonna find out. At an almost manic pace, he looks for the Toys R Us receipt he was sure he had seen 10 months ago. But he can’t find it in the decaying mess. He feels frantic. He was able to verify that there were small pieces of Christmas wrap. They looked like they came from small gifts. Tiny gifts. The kind of gifts a Mom might put in a Christmas stocking. “Damn!” thinks Hoffman to himself, “No scoop.” Kate wasn’t lying on Twitter when she said she wrapped stocking gifts. It looks like Hoffman is going to have to thin down the cabbage soup for his family yet again. Maybe tomorrow he would get a Gosselin scoop and his children would once again be able to indulge in the sweet, sweet meat that had become so rare in their home since the media storm surrounding the Gosselin family had died down. (You know we are joking, right? In Hoffman’s book he says he still has Kate’s garbage in his basement from Christmas 2011, so we couldn’t help ourselves)
Let’s get serious for a moment.
Robert Hoffman says he is wrote his “vitriolic” book for Colin Gosselin. Apparently, one time while Robert Hoffman, TABLOID reporter, was actually in the Gosselin house (at Jon Gosselin’s invitation no less) Hoffman brought the kids donuts. Of course in Hoffman’s world he can’t just be bringing some kids donuts. He brought donuts because Kate Gosselin is a mean horrible, terrible, Attila the Hun woman that never lets her kids have donuts. During the donut gorge, according to Hoffman, Colin asked him to hold a third donut because his hands were full. Apparently, this simple act of Colin asking Hoffman to “save” a donut for him was the driving force behind Hoffman’s epic 300,000-plus word book on Colin’s mother Kate Gosselin. To describe Hoffman’s writing as “vitrolic” is the understatement of the year. He appears to hate Kate Gosselin and he lets the reader know it ad nauseum.
In glaring irony, after placing the blame for his book squarely in Colin’s little donut-filled hands, Hoffman, in excruciatingly fine detail, describes how he followed Kate Gosselin as she took her kids to – you guessed it – a donut shop. And, yes indeed, according to Robert’s extensive notes, the children did eat donuts.
It seems that Hoffman himself has spent a lot of time on the Gosselin blogs. At times in his book, Hoffman appears to be possessed by the same people who post on esoteric blogs with user names such as “KateisaKunt”. Except in Robert’s world he wants to add an authentic touch to his ramblings by saying he spoke directly to an insider to ascertain his findings. Imagine our surprise here at Imperfect Women when Hoffman quotes word-for-word the story of one famous Gosselin blog character, woman named “PennMommy”. In 2008 (the early days of the Gosselin blogs) she had bloggers spellbound with her “true life” accounts of what it was like to be a volunteer in Kate’s house when the 6 were wee. She told story after story of how Kate Gosselin was an ungrateful shrew. It was all well and fine until we here at Imperfect Women checked our site analytics and found that “PennMommy” was not from Pennsylvania at all, but from Bakersfield, California. She wasn’t an insider after all, just a lost soul with an active imagination looking for attention. Now the ghost of “PennMommy” has risen once again in the pages of Robert Hoffman’s book. We can’t help but wonder if this Gosselin “insider” flew to PA to “speak” directly with Hoffman or if Hoffman made the long trip to Bakersfield, California. We can only hope that Hoffman’s other sources are a bit more authentic.
From Hoffman’s Book:
I spoke to a woman who helped Kate with the kids when the sextuplets were first born. She told me Kate was a horrible person to be around. She thought she was a celebrity even back then.She was always demanding things get done fast and would fire people for nothing – People that worked for free because they wanted to help. This woman was from the church where Kate used to go. She told me that Kate was fanatical about helpers not using the family refrigerator. One time this woman put a yogurt in there to keep it cold for her lunch and Kate found it and started screaming at her. She yelled “how dare you put your food in our refrigerator!” and she took out the yogurt and threw it in the trash in front of her. She threatened to fire her if she ever did anything like that again. The woman quit after about a month. She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t understand how a person getting everything for free, including help with her kids, could be so mean-spirited.
In a startling turn of events, Hoffman is now asking for donations to cover his legal fees, and it appears some people are contributing. It’s sad to read some people are “waiting for payday” to donate. Again this hearkens back to “PennMommy” days when, before she was exposed as a fraud, people were sending her money for medical expenses for a son who, it turned out, didn’t exist at all.
Hoffman says he has Kate Gosselin’s personal journals from computer disks she discarded after Jon Gosselin was thrown out of the apartment garage for the last time. Hoffman boasts that he has over 5000 documents, journals, emails, contracts and pictures belonging to the Gosselin family. I don’t think that includes the Christmas wrapping paper he found dumpster diving. He claimed on RealityTVKids.com on Friday night he didn’t post the pictures he “found” because they don’t belong to him, yet somehow he has justified to himself the private written words of others that he found are his to publish and sell to tabloids. And publish those written words he has. Chapter 32 has no less than fifty 8 x 11 pages of direct copy-and-paste from what appear to be Kate Gosselin’s journals. We can’t tell you the number of book pages they cover as the book has no page numbers. While the journals in the book look like they could be authentic, the story of how they came to be in Robert’s possession does not. One of Jon’s old girlfriends reported to tabloids years ago that Jon had hacked into Kate’s computer and had all her files and emails. Now, suddenly, a man who has described himself as a good friend to Jon Gosselin has 5000 documents that Type-A Kate Gosselin threw in the trash? Doesn’t seem likely.For Hoffman’s sake, let’s hope in the thousands of hours of surveillance he’s logged on Kate Gosselin, he has footage of her taking the computer disks to the garbage herself.
And last but not least, the allegations of abuse. In this 300,000-word epic there are very few words from the journals about “abuse”. Our best guess is about 100 words at most. To us, they sound like the anguished words of an overburdened mom of 6 two-year-olds and 2 five-year-olds agonizing over her quest to be the best mother she can be. Again, if these words are authentic, one has to take into account they were never meant for public consumption. We have no way of telling if Kate was exaggerating or being over scrupulous. The best we as the public can hope, after being exposed to this peek into a private world, is that the family is dealing with whatever matters they have and everyone is leading the best life they can lead. Even though Jon Gosselin is a ghost in Hoffman’s book, the Gosselin kids aren’t orphans; they have two parents as well as family and friends and school teachers and all the rest. It is their business to deal with their family. Not ours.