We feel like we are rubber-necking past a train wreck somewhere in Berks County, PA. When we see an article titled, Jon Gosselin in the Wilderness we cringe, but we can’t tear ourselves away. Jon Gosselin, Ordinary Guy, is giving yet ANOTHER interview to assure us that he values privacy above everything else. He just wants a normal life! A normal life giving interviews! Will we get to see his secluded cabin again? (Yes.) Will he mention that he has no TV? (Sure thing.) Will he show off his gun? (Of course.) Will he finally get through an interview without making a fool of himself? (Not a chance.)
Besides the obvious contradiction in “seeking a redemptive magazine profile” about not wanting fame or attention, Jon doesn’t seem to have a clue what the word ‘redemptive’ means. You would think he would want to show the author his responsible, paternal side. Jon working hard. Jon shopping for his kids. Wait. Is that what we saw? Jon does take a drink order for his guest (but doesn’t bring it). He serves food (after he lies about preparing it). And he buys a gun safe for his kids’ safety (because a family court judge ordered him to get it).
No, we don’t get rehabilitated Jon in this interview. Instead, we get Jon stuck in 2009. Jon smoking and swearing, drinking, bar-hopping, drinking, showing off his gun, drinking, ranting about Kate Gosselin, drinking, urinating in public, and drinking. You can’t remember how the Gosselin brand went south? Have a drink with Jon while he brags about beating sorority sisters at beer pong and staying out until four in the morning during his marriage. You think Jon Gosselin hates fame? Ask him who the most-photographed person of 2009 was. The only thing missing from this profile was his Ed Hardy wardrobe and a shot of his big back tattoo.
While we learned very little that is new from this interview, we have to credit the interviewer, Simon van Zuylen-Wood , for seeing through Jon’s nonsense. He points out that Jon’s “Waiter & Cabin Dweller” interview tour is “blown to pieces” by Jon’s upcoming appearance on the low-brow reality TV show Couples Therapy. (Jon insists he did it for the free therapy- all two weeks of it!) He notes that Kate’s healthy following on Twitter “enrages” Jon. (Move on, Jon.) Most notably, he challenges Jon directly about the abuse allegations made by Jon’s buddy, Robert “Trashman” Hoffman against Kate:
As far as Hoffman’s allegations go, suffice it to say their veracity depends mostly on whether one considers spanking abusive behavior or not. At the bar, when I begin to ask Jon pointed questions about the alleged abuse, he wises up, goes off the record, and says, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Then he looks around the patio, motions toward the bar, and yells: “Let’s do a shot!”
Uh-huh. Sure. That’s just what every good daddy does when his ex-wife is accused of abuse. Wise up, shut up, and do a shot. Jon Gosselin Brand Rehabilitation Operation: FAIL.
Read the interview for yourself. We would love to hear your thoughts on Jon’s assessment of his fans (“You and I go out, we read, we educate ourselves, we do a lot of stuff. … They watch TV.”) Or his girlfriend’s ‘crass charm’ (“inspires me at one point to overshare that I’d forgotten to apply deodorant that morning.”) Or his 50/50 custody split (“He gets the kids one day a week and every other weekend.”)
We know what we think. We think Jon Gosselin should stop giving interviews. Check out our recap of another interview Jon gave a few months ago here.