By Nancy
We are expecting our second child in approximately six weeks. And, unlike most couples today, we have not (and are not) finding out the gender of our baby. “Why not?” Everyone wants to know why we aren’t getting the skinny on our little one. Our answer? Why?
With technology today, it seems there aren’t any real surprises anymore. Although, I am a planner, it really doesn’t matter to me if the nursery is “Super Boy Blue” or “Pretty in Pink.” I’m totally fine with gender-neutral onesies for about a week in this baby’s life. I know he or she will be showered with blue or pink clothes from all the relatives and friends who seem to be going absolutely bonkers because we have chosen not to find out. (For the record, I am not knocking anyone who does choose to find out – I get that. We have just chosen not to.)
The birth of our son four years ago wasn’t even close to a walk in the park – he just refused to leave me. After nearly four hours of pushing (that’s a lot of pushing), we finally managed to meet our first-born and learn that he was a he! Our elation trumped the exhaustion. We had a son. It was a surprise to everyone and it was awesome sharing our news.
I’m so thankful that my hubby and I are on the same page about it, but must confess, if he really wanted to know if we were having a boy or girl, I would probably cave and find out! We are scheduled for another ultrasound on Monday and asked about it again. His answer? “I really want to be surprised, don’t you?” Indeed, I do.
How about you? Did you or would you want to know the sex of your child prior to birth?
I say girl! And also I demand to know how you avoided stretch marks?!?
I wanted to know with both of ours. Bbay girl #1 refused to show herself and it was hard to plan. Yellow and green everywhere.
Baby girl #2 (last August) let us know we should buy pink. I love knowing but I can see the fun in waiting til the big arrival!
I read in a magazine…I think Food Network, how a new trend is that people are having the doctors put the sex in an envelope, sealed, and they are bringing it to a bakery. The bakery is then baking a cake where on the outside it is a variety of colors, but when you cut in the cake it will be blue or pink.
Parents choice, to know or not to know. Many just think it’s nicer to find out when the baby is born, especially the first child. I’ve known older parents that want to know and tell it right away. As long as they are healthy, who cares. All babies are just cute and warm and smell so good. Miss those days!!
My kids were born in the 80s and we did not routinely find that info out back then. I think we had to have an amnio to really know. I was happy with both that I did not know the sex. I liked the surprise. However, if I was given the opportunity today, I am not sure what I would do.
.
Congratulations to Nancy and her family! It won’t be long now. Can’t wait to find out. I am guessing girl but I was wrong with Sam’s. I guessed boy.
I guessed right with Sam’s, but I had a feeling there. I don’t have as much feeling about Nancy’s. Maybe I’ll be inspired as the time comes closer.
I remember thinking that I would want to be surprised, and talking to a friend who was adamant that she would want to know ahead of time. Her perspective, which I’ll admit I hadn’t really thought about, was that the birthy of your child is a big enough deal – it’s not really necessary for the sex to be a surprise. I don’t know what I’d do, now, if I were in that position. I think whatever a couple chooses is fine, obviously.
Mary Rose – I’ve seen friends who had the ultrasound tech write the gender on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope to be opened at a special time for the couple — dinner, date night, etc.
The cake thing is a sweet idea, too.
First off, I hadn’t been aware until now that actively pushing during labor with my son from roughly 5:30 pm until nearly midnight was that unusual….TOTALLY sucked, of course…broke my tailbone in the process and couldn’t sit comfortably for months…but nobody mentioned before that the duration was unusual. Hmmmm…completely new perspective of the situation. I’m nearly 14 years out and I still say, “Ouch.” 😉
We knew the sex, but by some odd circumstances (military hospital) I never actually eye-balled the ultrasound myself and saw the evidence. I had to take my husband’s word for it that he was indeed a male child, so I didn’t quite believe it myself until I saw him. Also, I had had several girlfriends up until that point who had been told the wrong sex (older ultrasounds?), had baby showers and rooms full of pink for their bouncing baby boys who were SOOOO thankful for the yellow or green onesies I’d given them at their showers.
Let’s just say….I bought mostly neutrals pre-birth and did the majority of my gender specific shopping after he was born, ultrasound or no ultrasound.
If I ever had a second, I’d wait to find out.
P.S.
Congratulations, Nancy! Here’s wishing you an easy birth.
And a belated congratulations to Sam….I didn’t know!!
Good grief. 4 and 5 hours pushing. I pushed for almost 3 and thought she was never coming out!
Thanks Marci! 7 months old now 🙂
Really? The majority of people find out? I thought it was closer to 50/50. Many people that I know who really wanted to find out the gender of their children ahead of time had babies that wouldn’t give up the goods at “the big” ultrasound. I found out with both of my kids, but I completely understand those who choose a surprise!
Early on, I guessed Nancy was having a girl. Now, I’m thinking it’s going to be a little girl. So happy for you Nancy.
/
Mary Rose, the bakery cake surprise sounds like such a pleasant way to find out. I have never heard of that.
/
I like the surprise, but now that the technology is here, there’s absolutely no way I could wait til the end to find out. I knew my last one was going to be a little girl.
/
Love the pic!! What a cute baby belly.
whoops, I meant to write “I’m thinking it’s going to be a little boy”. However, since I slipped and wrote “girl” twice. I’m sticking w/my original guess.
Way back then…. We didn’t have a choice to know. Given the decision today…. I would still want to be pleasantly suprised. Congrats Nancy, hoping all goes well for you.
I’m loving all these creative ideas – the cake, sharing the news on a date, etc. I think that is a fantastic way to do it if you are going to find out.
.
I waited to find out with my daughter. It was fun, but I agree with others – the whole birth experience is so overwhelming and wondrous, I don’t know that it all “sunk in” until later. I would probably find out if I had a second, but it is hard to know until you are actually in that position.
.
So happy we have another little one joining our IW family! And a Michigan fan to boot! 🙂
I have mixed opinions about finding out the sex of a baby before birth. My oldest is 19 yrs old, when I was pregnant with him we lived in a very small town, the U/S pictures I have are very fuzzy, the tech didn’t even try to guess.
My 15 yr old was born in that same little town, U/S machine was a little better but the tech still didn’t guess
With my 7 yr old we were told she would be a girl, tech didn’t ask us if we wanted to know, just said “looks like a girl to me”
With my 5 yr old I had 3 U/S’s with 3 different techs, all 3 said it was a girl, some of the U/S pictures even say “its a girl” on them but he is a handsome little boy. We were prepared for a girl, had nothing at all for a boy.
Good luck Nancy, may you have a quick painfree labor and delivery.
“Good luck Nancy, may you have a quick painfree labor and delivery.”
Thank you stxmom, but is there such a thing? LOL! 😉
I will be ecstatic just to have things 50% better than my son’s birth. LOL. I’m not getting my hopes up. I just spoke to a good friend yesterday who had alot of trouble with the first, similar to mine. Her second was induced and she was born in three pushes. THAT sounds so awesome! But, like I said, I’m not getting my hopes up.
We have an ultrasound on Monday to check on the baby’s size as he/she is measuring big — it will be very tempting, I have to say, but we’ll stick with not knowing.
Congratulations Nancy! I opted to have amnio since I was older and I figured I might as well know. She was a she. lol
Congratulations!! In this hi-tech world, life has too few pleasant surprises. Enjoy this one!
We had our ultrasound today – we have a big baby – already 6.5lbs and we still have 6 weeks to go! 🙂
i’m 21 and pregnant and trying to be unlike every other new generation person and not find out, 6 months down and am managing perfectly 🙂 cannot wait for the surprise, even tho my boyfriend is starting to cave and want to know i’m being strong for the both of us, it’ll be worth it in the end 🙂
Congratulations, Kelly! I do think these days some people are going back to wanting it to be a surprise. I can imagine the temptation is overwhelming, though!
Congratulations Kelly! Enjoy the surprise of the miracle when you see your baby for the first time. I didn’t know with my first and it was such an amazing moment to keep saying “it’s a boy!” Actually, I was saying “It’s a boy w/red hair!” That was a surprise too.