Hi to all of the imperfect (and perfect) women of Imperfect women! My name is Naomi and I am newer to the blogging world, I just launched my own blog at DelightCreativeHome.com, where I share with you my delightfully (tiny) creative home, DIY projects, home décor and just recently, my adoption story. Because a little one will make 3, and our growing family will make our house more of a home than any of my decorating projects ever could! I am so excited to share with you part of our story here at Imperfect Women, not only because everyone always has a question for me about adoption, but because I love to talk about the amazing experience it has been so far.
A question I get asked often, and I am going to try to tackle today is: “Why Aren’t You Adopting From Here?”
When people ask this one, you can only assume they mean a domestic adoption – then most often my brain jumps to… “well… this answer is much longer than you think it is… do you really want to hear it all?!” So as succinctly as I can put it is this: “An International Adoption is the right option for us right now. If I don’t know you from Jane Smith on the street, you are getting an answer that is as simple as that.”
However, if I have a friend ask me this… and they have… here is the long answer: The foster-to-adopt program in our state is not as pretty as most. The goal of the foster system in our state is to return the child to their biological family, not to find a new home for them (which can be good or bad in each individual case.) We may pursue this path later, but for now, we aren’t ready for the loss of each child in and out of our home.
A domestic infant adoption-adopting a baby from the US and a US birthmother- can also be a great way to grow a family. You have to prepare a profile that is seen by many birthmothers. We had one agency tell us outright “it can be a popularity contest of sorts… the big houses, good money and attractive couples may be chosen first.” Now, we had not met this person, nor shared any of our information with her, so she wasn’t judging us… but still, it was weird that someone in the “thick of it” would say something like that. It seemed scary that our becoming parents would all hinge on someone finding us “attractive.”
This left us with international adoption. A country can close its doors to adoption by United States citizens at any time. Russia did so very recently. Guatemala did a while ago and is still closed; others have already or have threatened to close. It is a very scary possibility, but when we decided on this route, we felt like we made the right decision. After every hurdle we jump over, we feel like we are headed in the right direction. So we chose an international adoption. Not because there aren’t good things that come from adopting from the foster care system or from a domestic infant adoption, it is just that, an International Adoption is the right option for us right now (see how that worked, back to the simple short answer!).
When it comes to adoption – do your research! Figure out what works for your family – the adoption process is not what you think it is and not what it was just a few years ago. I am positive you would be blessed no matter what option you choose.
For more about our adoption journey – please visit my blog at DelightCreativeHome.com!