In the last few years I have become quite the planner. I learned from Tara Marino at Elegant Femme that when there are things you want for yourself, “if it doesn’t get on the calendar, it doesn’t happen.” So I schedule in not only business and family events, but all the fun experiences I want to have in complete detail. I had vowed that this summer was going to be a “real” summer experience and not just another summer working and seeing the beach on the weekends.
This was my screen-saver:
As insurance brokers, my husband and I earn our living by seeing clients and are paid on a commission basis. Our plan was to work really hard in the month of June and see as many clients and referrals as possible. Since we really enjoy helping people and sharing information, we would do as much as we could in June and then July would be the month for some free time. We had planned to go to Santa Cruz and the surrounding beach cities and see one of my favorite friends. From there we would drive to Lake Tahoe, since my husband Stu (a native New Yorker) has always wanted to go there. Our plan was to enjoy nature as well as relaxing and taking it easy.
Well that was my plan and then…boom! On May 31st I found myself calling the paramedics in the middle of the night to take Stu to the hospital. He was very sick and couldn’t breathe! After a few days in the hospital, we found out he had a gallbladder issue and a bad reaction to his blood sugar medication. The next month was spent seeing different specialists, and unfortunately Stu was in a lot of pain and sleeping a lot. I spent most of my time dealing with health insurance, getting authorizations for different doctors and medications, and trying to be supportive. This was not my plan! What about my “Summer of Love?” Since I knew my husband was on the mend I made a decision to make sure these events didn’t stop me on my daily pursuit of joy and happiness. When you are in a caretaker role, “self care” is even more important than ever.
If you find yourself caught up on a detour on your “Road to Reinvention” like I did, try a few of these suggestions to still achieve that sense of joyfulness.
Have a gratitude list.
I usually do this right before I go to sleep although some people like to wake up with a gratitude list. You can write it down, say it out loud, or just think it in your mind, but make a list of everything you are thankful for. This practice has really made me see how lucky I am. I am thankful for a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, my beautiful mother, my family, my ever helpful and supportive son, my interesting and creative neighbors, and more.
Thankful for these two: my 15 year old cat, Bella, and my 3 year old dog, Trixie who are “best friends”:
Surround yourself with things that uplevel your senses.
Try candles that smell relaxing and delicious or music that makes you happy! Photos of places or people you love or quotes that inspire…really anything that raises your vibration.
Do something that will help someone else.
So many people are suffering and going through such challenging battles, much worse than we were. I love to send cards of encouragement and support. Even a text or email can make someone’s day.
I found that I was spending a lot of time at my desk and on the phone and feeling very restless. I needed to move! When I took my little dog, Trixie, for a walk I spent much longer outside with her than I normally did. I also took another walk in the afternoon and instead of rushing through it, I began to appreciate the beautiful trees and flowers in my neighborhood.
Check in with your feelings.
This was the hardest one for me. Sometimes we don’t want to admit how we feel. Over the course of the last two months, I at times found myself feeling resentful, angry, disappointed, anxious, and stressed. Once I admitted how I was feeling and gave myself some time to acknowledge it, I was able to get past it and into a more joyful and positive place. We cannot fix what we don’t admit! There is no hiding from yourself.
We all face detours on the Road To Reinvention and these steps helped me keep going. I hope that some of these help you too. I am looking forward to my “Summer of Love” even if it’s in October!
Check out a few of Holly’s previous posts where she shares her journey on her Road to Reinvention:
Holly Zucker is a wife, mother of a grown son, business owner and on the “Road to Reinvention”. After feeling like she had “lost herself” she has spent the last few years bringing back joy, pleasure, passion, fun, and community into her life. Her mission is to help other women “reinvent themselves” and start living their dreams and desires. We’ve done so much for everyone else, it’s our turn now!