Written by Jeff
Baseball season is in full swing. Time for a quick review of helpful hints if you have a baseball obsessed spouse. Baseball (unlike football which everyone loves, and basketball which everyone likes) is either a sport that you hate or love with a passion ( why is Verlander throwing Soriano a splitter when he had him set up for the curve?). I happen to be in the latter group. I watch 10 games a day (don’t tell my boss) and know everyone’s batting average to the 4th decimal point. As a lifelong Cub’s fan I can tell you who the 3rd string catcher was in 1977, but I have a hard time remembering my wife Pam’s, birthday. Wait, her name is Paula. I think…
5 helpful hints for the spouse of the crazed fan:
- Don’t ask specific questions: Say “How’s the game going?” Don’t say “Gee I see the Cubs are losing. What happened?” You have set yourself up for 20 minutes of detailed descriptions of bad pitches, horrible managerial moves and players that should be cut.
- Don’t say “Who are you talking to?” If he/she is talking out loud to the television – things are not going well.
- If he/she asks you to tell him if the batter was out or safe-play along. Watch the replay. Try to figure out (in the few moments you have) what he/she wants to hear and answer that way, or you’ll have to watch it over and over. Blame Tivo, don’t blame me.
- Once in awhile, offer to make him/her a hot dog or buy some peanuts for the game. You will be repaid tenfold. And Finally,
- Never, ever ask him/her if he/she wants to go to the mall during the game. He/she will look at you and wonder where you came from. He/she is not going, why ask?
We don’t expect you to be able to explain the infield fly rule – batter is out if the player hits a popup with the bases full or runners are on 1st and 2nd with less than two outs. But please don’t vacuum during the game or ask him/her to help fold the laundry when the game is tied. Don’t worry, the season will be over soon and you’ll have him/her back. Well, actually there’s always football season to consider….
Gotta go. The Game is on.
About the Author:
Jeff Buttikofer lives is Los Angeles but grew up in the Midwest playing multiple sports including baseball, basketball and football in high school and college in the early 70s. He has continued to be a big time sports enthusiast but now days is relegated to enjoying it from his chair in his man cave with his five ( yes you heard that right, FIVE) TVs all bringing it to life in the comfort of his own home.