The presence of fathers in the delivery room is a 20th century occurrence. Historically, the role of the father in pregnancy was that of a “sperm donor”. All deliveries, until the 20th Century, were taken place at home. From time immemorial lay midwives attended the parturient. Towards the middle of the 19th century physicians became part of the picture and, in part, displaced the midwife and attended the woman in labor, if called upon. Fathers were relegated, together with the rest of the family, to kitchen or any other part of the house.
Once the baby was born, fathers and family members were told by the midwife or physician that the new member of the family arrived. In movies you hear a crying baby but rarely you see the father in the bedroom. The fact is that women did not want for their husbands to see them sweating, tired, or in pain.
Deliveries move from homes to hospitals
By the second part of the 20th century, when deliveries had moved from homes to hospitals, fathers were still out of the delivery room and it was only sometime after the delivery that they were able to see their baby through the nursery window. The concern of the medical profession was that they feared the newborn may catch an infection from the father or rest of the family. After delivery women were in the hospitals for a week or so.
Until beginning of the 20th century, prenatal care was unknown. Having a baby was not considered a disease and the first time a pregnant woman came to see the doctor or midwife was when labor started. By 1901 some doctors and nurses in Boston, decided to open a clinic to check the blood pressure of pregnant women. High blood pressure in pregnancy, also known at that time as “Toxemia”, was known to be a serious complication and pregnant women were dying because of untreated toxemia. It took almost 50 years for the concept of prenatal care to be accepted by the medical profession and patients alike. But the concept of fathers in the delivery room never crossed anybody’s mind.
Obstetrical care begins to change in 1950s
Starting in the 1950s, obstetrical care began to change. Hospitals started catering to pregnant women, offering prenatal care classes and the labor room went from a common delivery room to private labor rooms.
Women started demanding privacy and information about their upcoming delivery. In addition to prenatal care, prenatal classes, which were/are attended by the future mother and her partner, were offered. That was the first time that fathers started to become involved in their wife’s or partner’s pregnancy. The taboos where husbands were relegated to the kitchen during labor and delivery, became history. Literarily fathers got out of the kitchen and went into the delivery room.
Doctors and midwives adjusted rapidly and accepted the change and considered it progress.
Most prospective fathers choose to take part of delivery
Most prospective fathers do not have any problem with being part of this major event in their lives. In some cases, however, that may not be the case. A minority do not cherish the idea of watching their partner in labor, seeing blood and all that goes with delivery or, in cases of cesarean delivery, being in an operating room. That may create a conflict between mother and father. The pregnant woman wants her partner with her throughout labor, delivery or surgery, while some men don’t want any part of this arrangement. What is the answer?
Through my years of practice, I have learned that those men that relent and finally decide to be with their wives, make poor support and some become a problem. I have had men fainting and falling on the floor and they must be removed and transferred to emergency room to make sure they did not injure themselves. Others leave in the middle of labor and I have seen some vomiting on the floor or the labor bed. One patient related to me that her husband, who was in the operating room during a cesarean section, later refused to have any physical contact anymore because all he was thinking about was of her with the abdomen opened and blood coming from inside.
Certainly, these men are exceptions. Most men have no problem being present with their wives during labor and delivery or surgery. But some do.
Forcing attendance is not a good idea
The bottom line is that, in my opinion, forcing attendance is not a good idea. It does not mean that the man doesn’t love you, doesn’t care for you, is not interested, or what ever else you, the mother, may think. Some people, men and women for that matter, are hypersensitive to the sight of blood, to procedures that are performed on a family member, to pain that a loved one may have and so forth. You may want to avoid the unpleasant results that an unwilling partner will go through and which may make him miss the event anyhow. Sometimes love means understanding the other person’s feelings.
SILVIO ALADJEM MD, an obstetrician/gynecologist and Maternal Fetal Medicine (high risk pregnancy) specialist, is Professor Emeritus in obstetrics and gynecology at Michigan State University, College of Human Medicine, in Lansing, MI. He is the author of “10,000 babies: my life in the delivery room” now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and elsewhere. where books are sold. You may contact Dr. Aladjem at: dr.aladjem@gmail.com
Catherine Sargent says
September 7, 2018 at 8:47 amI can understand some dads not wanting to be in the delivery room especially if the have issues with seeing blood or needles. My husband was with me through my cesarean section and it was comforting having him by my side the entire time.
Joline says
September 7, 2018 at 9:50 amI think it’s a nice gesture for dads to be in the delivery though I think it depends on the couple too. I know my sister would hate it lol but my sister-in-law would love that.
Neely Moldovan says
September 7, 2018 at 9:53 amMy husband would never not want to be in there but Its interesting to think about how the perspective has changed. My grandfather was NOT in the delivery room for any of his kids
Scott says
September 7, 2018 at 12:29 pmI was in the room for both of our girls and have to say it is an amazing experience. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Tami says
September 8, 2018 at 6:05 amI was blessed to have my husband’s presence in the delivery room with all three children. I hope the same for my daughter.
Gingermommy says
September 8, 2018 at 8:21 amMy husband was there for the birth of each of our children. I wouldn’t have it any other way
Heather says
September 8, 2018 at 8:52 amIn my opinion, if you made the baby together you both belong in that room. It was just the two of us for both kids.
Peter says
September 8, 2018 at 9:11 amI was present for 5 out 8 births. Sorry but who doesn’t want to be there when their child is born? The truest part of themselves? Had to sit out the last two because of size of my family but my two oldest kids got the best sex Ed class imaginable. Child birth
Lynne B says
September 8, 2018 at 10:34 amMy husband couldn’t wait to be in the delivery room. I had c-sections and he was fascinated. How nice for him. lol
CourtneyLynne says
September 9, 2018 at 1:20 pmMy husband was in the delivery room with me up until the point the doctor decided I needed an emergency c-section. Since he wasn’t all prepped and cleaned for a surgery, they made him watch from a window. He was excited to love part of it all 🙂
Annemarie LeBlanc says
September 11, 2018 at 11:43 pmMy husband opted to stay outside. He does not like seeing blood and I totally understand. I am glad I was in that era that prenatal care is a must. It is always best to ensure both mother and child are healthy!
Samantha says
September 14, 2018 at 7:36 pmI have only had one child and that is my son. I couldnt find his father the night of delivery. I was in labor and looking for him for 36 hours. He was at his Ex wives house spending the night.
But had I had been with a man that was supportive and wanted to be there I would have loved it. It was very scary my son got stuck in the birthing canal and they had to do an emergency C-section.
vickie couturier says
September 25, 2018 at 3:32 pmback when my kids were born that wasnt done,,but i was in the room when my two daughters each delivered ,i saw 2 times each one,,so out of 8 grandchildren i saw 4 be born,as a retired post parturm nurse this was just amazing,,i think all fathers should be in there where they want too or not
Dorothy Boucher says
September 25, 2018 at 5:06 pmI can see if dads don’t want to be in the delivery room but I think they should, Its a once in a lifetime to see your own child be born.
@tisonlyme143
kate g says
September 25, 2018 at 11:50 pmI can believe it could be traumatizing to anyone if they weren’t used to seeing a lot of blood, but if they can look beyond that…who would want to miss seeing a miracle happening? I agree that no one should be pressured though.
kate g says
September 27, 2018 at 1:27 amEvery man I know who has been in the delivery room was nervous about it to begin with, but in the end were so glad they were there.
AJ says
September 27, 2018 at 3:16 pmDudes just get in the way.
kate g says
September 27, 2018 at 10:49 pmWhile I’m thinking it’s good for the husband to be there, I’m not sure if I was a doctor that I’d want anyone in the room other than the mom and medical personel, just so it could be organized and it wouldn’t potentially be one more distraction or complication (if he fainted or fell ill, etc.)..
kate g says
September 29, 2018 at 1:07 amWhile I think it’s great that births have become more inclusive, just like most other things, it should always be an individual choice.
Tamra Gibson says
September 29, 2018 at 10:31 pmI think it’s great that we have this option. My hubby was fine when we were a little younger but when our daughter had a baby he couldnt even look at her or hear her in any pain. It was very sweet I on the other hand had the privilege of cutting the cord
kate g says
September 30, 2018 at 12:07 amThe medical history of giving birth was interesting and it made me wonder what the mortality rate must have been for the mother and/or the child back then. I’m sure the midwives delivered a lot of babies, and probably the expectant fathers did too, but surely they weren’t all versed in how to deal with difficulties. I also wondered, when doctors got involved, how much did the mortality rate go down.
Maryann D. says
September 30, 2018 at 5:25 amMy husband was nervous but he did stay in the delivery room with me.
Pam Halligan says
September 30, 2018 at 5:34 amMy fiance and I plan on having children. I’d like him in the delivery room with me.
Tamra Gibson says
September 30, 2018 at 10:12 pmI asked my husband what he thought. It was almost funny bc he said every man should be made to watch especially the younger men so they could appreciate more what a womens body goes thru. I think it’s awesome Men can do this
Samantha says
October 1, 2018 at 3:44 pmI know my last comment was silly. But I really think that it is a good idea to have the father in the delivery room. As long as he wants to be in there!
kate g says
October 1, 2018 at 6:45 pmFrom home births with maybe a midwife to luxury suites in a hospital birthing center with nurses, doctors, specialists and an array of medical equipment in the wings. Come a long way.
Tamra Phelps says
October 21, 2018 at 1:04 pmIt is interesting how opinions have completely changed over the years. I think most men want to be there, now.