As women today we find ourselves in a lot of different roles. Some of us may remember when women were only expected to play certain roles in life such as mother and housewife. Most though do not even have a recollection of those days. I lived on the fringes of these times and I have experienced both in my lifetime. I watched my own mother in those roles and I was convinced that this would be my joy in life as well.
Things began changing for me in high school. So many of my friends were talking about their career aspirations and college plans. These times were exciting yet uneasy times in the lives of some women. There were women who could not wait to break out of the mold that had been formed for women and those who were unsure. And there were also women who cherished their role as mother and wife and wanted nothing to change. As for me I was totally caught off guard and had not given it much thought. Mom and Dad had been talking to my brother about college but never to me.
I imagine there were a lot of women like me, women who had not thought of doing anything but being a wife and mother. It sounds rather ridiculous from today’s perspective but I was terrified for the first time about my future. I was not prepared for college, I had no plans for marriage, and so what was my next step? These many years later I spoke with a girlfriend of mine who found herself in the same situation at graduation. She told me that when she graduated she just sort of hung around the house until her daddy asked her if she wanted to go to college or work. She just had not thought about it. She decided to work. She told me she had not even thought about it until he asked her. Some of us were walking around in a sort of psychological coma I suppose, waiting to see what would happen next.
The world was changing so rapidly and right in front of our eyes. There were woman’s libbers burning their bras, woman climbing corporate ladders or owning their own businesses. More and more woman were coming on the scene in important and powerful positions. If you were not ready for it like me and my friend it could either suck you in or paralyze you.
I looked at my training which was four years of home economics and tutelage under my mother’s expert training for cooking, cleaning, and being the perfect wife and mother. These were important skills to have if you were getting married in those days. They are important today as well and far too few girls today get the benefit of that training. But it does not benefit you much in getting employment outside of the home environment so I had to do some quick thinking about the future.
This was when Dad also decided to have a mid-life crisis and leave home. Not great timing for any of us. Since this happened I ruled out college. I decided on business school which was a career that women who did work outside the home had been doing for years. It served me well; after completing classes I was able to get a job that paid a good enough salary so that I could support myself. I was able to work my way up from a clerk to Executive Secretary in a few short years. Though I often thought about what I could have done if I had gone to college I was happy with the road I had chosen.
After marrying and starting a family the job worked out well for me in giving me the time off I needed with the children. My mom stepped in to take care of the kids while I worked. But as the children got older I ran into an obstacle that made me more determined than ever to get a college degree. My son looked at me one day during his high school years when they were talking about preparing for college. He told me that since I had never gone to college that he was not going either. I told him his dad went for four years but he said it did not really count because it was electrical college. How he figured that did not count I will never understand but then who knows the mind of a teenager?
So at that point I asked him if I went and got my degree would he? He said, “Sure” (with a grin), as if to say he did not have a thing to worry about. So I made up my mind right then and there to go back to college at age fifty. I did and I loved it. I found everything so much more interesting and exciting than I had before back in high school. I worked hard and got my degree and made sure my son had no excuse.
Women’s roles have changed so much over the past several decades. Even those of us who did not rally for these changes or even see them coming were able to rise to the occasion. I have seen that women are resilient and can rise to any occasion even when we are not totally prepared. These years of changes have made us stronger and made us more valuable than ever in whatever we choose. As for me, my favorite role has been as wife and mother and I am so very thankful that those skills I learned as a girl were put in place.
Author Bio:
Elizabeth Reed is a freelance writer and a resident blogger at Liveinnanny. She particularly enjoys writing about parenting, childcare, health and wellness. In addition, she is an expert consultant on issues related to household management and kids.
Scott says
February 15, 2014 at 1:37 pmCongrats on finishing your degree! I’ve often thought about going back and getting my Masters but couldn’t justify the costs.
Tough Cookie Mommy says
February 15, 2014 at 2:57 pmI agree that the roles of women have changed considerably in the last few decades. Now, if only we could get equal pay for equal work.
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
February 15, 2014 at 3:36 pmIt’s funny – I worked hard to get my degree and now it’s going to waste. I am a stay at home mom and those skills I learned from my own mother way before I ever went to college.
T. Marie says
February 15, 2014 at 3:51 pmWomens roles are forever changing, even to this day nothing ever stays the same. We are expected to to be the women of old days and also the ones of the new. I am so happy that you chose to be a great role model and go back to school.
Amber Nelson says
February 15, 2014 at 5:07 pmYes we are definitely in different roles these days.
Fabulous Perks says
February 15, 2014 at 7:08 pmI’m inspired by your story! Congratulations on finishing your degree! I have been slacking knowing that I should finish my degree. I’m a new mom and I can not find the motivation within me to knock it out. Sad, but true!
Lady Lilith says
February 15, 2014 at 9:11 pmCongratulations on your degree. I also recently finished mine and it was the best decision of my life.
Rosey says
February 16, 2014 at 8:14 amKudos to you! I saw the era where women were expected to stay home and be a good mom and wife. Now I see changes where the mom is still expected to be a good mom and wife, but she’s also expected to bring in half of the bills too.
I also see where men didn’t do ANY work around the house (my husband, wonderful as he is as a person, falls into that category), and that was expected. These days they’re doing SO MUCH MORE and being very hands-on dads. My oldest falls into that latter category…he’s so good with his daughter and helps his wife a lot. I’m very proud of it, and so happy for his wife that she has unlimited support and help too.
amanda ripsam says
February 16, 2014 at 1:15 pmI am a stay at home wife and mom. I got sick so I am glad that things are set so I can be at home. However I am a workahlic and going batty being at home while hubby works.
Lawna says
February 16, 2014 at 2:28 pmWomens roles have definitely changed and women are now much more independent. However, I am a stay at home mother and wife and do not work out of our household.
Beth says
February 16, 2014 at 3:49 pmCongratulations on going back to college! What a huge decision 🙂 Way to go.
Ashley Wintters says
February 16, 2014 at 7:55 pmI love hearing my mom & gran talking about the evolution of women’s roles & this fits right in. Congrats on the degree 🙂
snickers says
February 16, 2014 at 9:58 pmCongrats on following your dream, at 50 I feel women are so ahead of the game with all the things we learned in our younger years. Enjoy your success.
Eliz Frank says
February 17, 2014 at 12:44 pmCongrats on your graduation and wishing you success all the way.
amanda says
February 17, 2014 at 8:13 pmCongratulations and great job going back after all those years. I think you made a great decision.
Veronica says
February 17, 2014 at 8:38 pmCongratulations on going back and getting your degree. The roles of women have definitely changed, but we still run the household
Marielle Altenor says
February 18, 2014 at 6:56 amYou are an example that one is never too old to have a dream. I feel that my relative didn’t prepare me for what the real world had in store. They pushed the college thing a lot but no one I my family had ever went. When I did go I was confused as to why I was really going. To please them?! So I ended up dropping out. I’m still waiting to see what my calling is as a woman. Will I always be happy just being a mother?! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
mel says
February 18, 2014 at 2:39 pmCongrats on finishing your degree! You made a great decision!
Amanda Love says
February 18, 2014 at 4:14 pmWhat an inspiration you are. My mother was always a “housewife” and she took care of the home and us kids. My dad was the breadwinner. Although I would have loved to be a SAHM it wasn’t possible for me. I’m grateful for what I learned while I was young growing up and I have since passed down my own knowledge to my daughter. It’s ok to be whatever you want to be and always follow your dreams.
Martina says
May 10, 2019 at 11:22 pmAdmire your determination. I am 56 and I think I’ve just found my calling to make a difference. Most of my working years, I’ve spent cleaning rich people’s houses. Now I’m determined to get out of my comfort zone and face my fears. I have just join a community of online business, which I believe is a beginning of new season in my life. Congratulation and thank you for sharing your story. God bless!! 🙏