This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which we are delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!
By Ann
Do I “still” believe in marriage?
Of course! I had no idea this was even a question until I found an article online called “New Year’s resolutions: The Pope Francis list”. Midway through the list of resolutions inspired by the new Pope’s homilies and interviews is this one: Make commitments, such as marriage. Apparently he gave a talk encouraging young adults to live a “counter-culture” lifestyle.
The Pope: “Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion…they say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, forever… I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes that you are incapable of responsibility, that you are incapable of true love… Have the courage to swim against the tide; have the courage to be happy,”
Have the courage to be happy!
It’s no secret that marriage is hard work. Have we made it out to be harder than it is, though, too hard to bother attempting? Is this message really scaring young adults away from seeking a life-long commitment to one spouse?
I used to joke that I knew my husband was committed to me, not when he said the marriage vows, but when he signed a 30-year mortgage on a house we could just barely afford. “It’s easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a mortgage.” Of course, that’s not true. Even if many people saw marriage as “just a piece of paper,” I knew that my husband saw it the same way I did: a life-long commitment to love and honor me, as I would him.
Are we swimming against a tide, as the Pope called it? I don’t know. I know there are all sorts of competing ideas about marriage these days. I have seen loved ones suffer through divorces. My own husband struggled with too many examples of failed marriages before we met. But, I have always been surrounded by far more happily married friends and family than not. We’re out here! It’s true that you have to work at a happy marriage, just as you have to work at anything of value. The rewards are worth it. I hope that we, happy wives and husbands, are not invisible to the young people who long to make a commitment to a spouse.
Let me echo what the Pope, the world’s most-not-eligible bachelor has to say to young people unsure whether they can succeed at marriage: Make the commitment. Have the courage to be happy together, for life!
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” We say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.
Book Details
Fawn Weaver was a happily married woman running a successful business—and then something happened. Maybe it was divorce rate reports on the evening news, The Real Housewives of Orange County, or any daytime talk show where husbands and wives dramatically reveal their betrayals. Everywhere she looked, Fawn saw negative portrayals of marriage dominating the airwaves and dooming everyone to failure. Looking at Keith, the love of her life, she knew that wasn’t true. She was determined to find and connect with women just like her—happy and optimistic about marriage, deeply in love with her spouse, and committed to building a strong marriage that stands the test of time. On a whim, she started the blog HappyWivesClub.com and sent the link to 5 friends. What started as a casual invitation to five women exploded into an international online club with 150,000 members in more than 100 countries. Happy Wives Club is Fawn’s journey across the world to meet new friends and discover what makes their marriages great. Join her on this exciting, exotic trip across six continents and through more than eighteen cities. Walk the streets of Mauritius, the historic ruins in Italy, and the vistas of New Zealand and Australia. Go from Cape Town to London, Manila to Buenos Aires, Winnipeg to Zagreb. Along the way, you will meet everyday women whose marriage secrets span cultures. You will hear their stories, witness their love, and be inspired by the proof that happy, healthy marriages do exist—and yours can be one of them! It turns out great marriages are all around us—when we look for them. Go on a trip with Fawn and learn the best marriage secrets the world has to offer.
Rachee says
January 5, 2014 at 5:34 pmAfter a horrible divorce I am so gun shy about marriage. I hope to change my position but for now I enjoy being in a committed relationship and not the marriage part.
GossipMoms (@GossipMoms) says
January 5, 2014 at 5:53 pmYes I do, and I also agree marriage is hard,but i love my hubby, and thats what matters. Thanks for your great post
Pauline C. says
January 5, 2014 at 7:36 pmI do believe in marriage and hoping that one day I’ll be with the right man.
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says
January 5, 2014 at 8:05 pmI’m not married any longer, but I still believe in marriage. However because I believe in it and how serious a commitment it is, I don’t think I’ll get married again. That seems so weird to say two things that kinda go against each other, but it makes sense to me.
Veronica says
January 5, 2014 at 8:34 pmMarriage takes hard work and mutual respect. You get out of it what you put in
Lawna says
January 5, 2014 at 10:11 pmMarriage can be a beautiful thing if it’s with the right person. I have been with my hub for going on 6 years now and together for eleven. It can definitely be hard at times but it is so worth it.
Michele says
January 5, 2014 at 10:26 pmYes, I believe in marriage which is why I have stayed single-never did meet anyone that I could stay with the rest of my life!
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
January 6, 2014 at 2:26 amChris is my second husband. It just didn’t work out with my first, but had I not gone through everything I did with my first, I never would have met Chris & he’s the one. Everything happens for a reason.
kay adeola says
January 6, 2014 at 4:37 amYes of course i believe in it,and as for it sometimes being hard well nothing good in life comes easy and it is what you make it,I know some people do not want to get married (its just a piece of paper etc)and of course some times it just does not work out but everybody is different and has a right to do what they wish with their lives.
Lily@IW says
January 6, 2014 at 5:49 amI commend anyone who call pull it off. The commitment of two people is a beautiful thing. It definitely takes two. Couples that have celebrated their 25th and beyond are kind of amazing. I always wonder what they have gone through together and how tough their bad times were.
Ashley Gill says
January 6, 2014 at 7:40 amIt makes me sad in how many people don’t “believe” in marriage. I cherish my marriage. My husband is my best friend. I rely on him to help me be who I am and he the same with me. I know sometimes marriages just don’t work, but I will not be giving up on mine.
Amber Edwards says
January 6, 2014 at 9:22 amThat is so beautiful! I love the Pope’s message to the youth to swim against the culture of today. A lot of people I know enter marriage too lightly. They think “oh if it doesn’t work out, we can just get a divorce” and that’s exactly what they do when things get hard and it is heartbreaking. We entered our marriage as a life-long commitment. Not something that can be replaced or ‘gotten out of’. Both the husband and I have great examples of marriage in our life with parents who are still together and grandparents who stayed faithful until they both passed away. We need more examples like that. And less of those thinking it’s not a big deal.
Sarah Bailey says
January 6, 2014 at 10:12 amYes – my parents have an amazingly strong relationship and I look at that and one day I would love to have it as well. x
Chubskulit Rose says
January 6, 2014 at 10:33 amI pretty much believe in it. It takes two to tango so a wife and a husband’s commitment is needed to make it work!
Terry says
January 6, 2014 at 12:29 pmI do believe in marriage, and I believe you have to work hard to have a happy marriage. .. It doesn’t just happen, like everything else in this world, you have to work for it.
Ronnie says
January 6, 2014 at 12:56 pmI wish I could say that I believe in it, but I don’t.. I think it’s mostly fear of commitment but the idea to be committed to only one person is really unappealing to me! Not that I’m cheating on my partner or anything, but gosh.. I do at times miss the excitement of the first kiss, first date, etc. Can’t imagine never having that again..
Pam W says
January 6, 2014 at 2:01 pmI’ve seen many people who are scared to get married because they have had bad examples of marriage. It is hard but it is worth it, I have been with my husband for twenty-four years now.
becca says
January 6, 2014 at 4:00 pmi do i will be celebrating 22yrs this month
Fabulous Perks says
January 6, 2014 at 4:18 pmMarriage is very important to me. I also don’t believe in divorce. I guess this is why I am in no rush.
kristin says
January 6, 2014 at 4:18 pmI still believe in marriage. My husband and I work at it but it’s worth it. Sometimes you have to work to be happy and work through the hard times.
Joanna Sormunen says
January 6, 2014 at 4:58 pmThat sounds like a wonderful encouragement from Pope Francis. The truth is that marriage takes two commitments and we can only control one of them. It is a scary thing, especially when you see people treating commitments like nothing around you. This is why choosing the right partner is so important.
I am heading towards a divorce, my second one. Both were caused by my spouses unfaithfulness. Both had a child out of wedlock while they were married with me.
I don’t know if I ever can trust another person enough to be a counterrevolutionary.
Tanya Holland says
January 6, 2014 at 4:59 pmI still believe in marriage. Me and my husband have been together for 15 years and I don’t ev energy begin to think about a life without him.
Jennifer W says
January 6, 2014 at 5:10 pmI believe in making a life long commitment but do not think that a piece of paper makes it so. It is easy to get a divorce – too easy if you ask me. My husband and I like many couples knew we would be together forever before we got married and the paper did not change that – it just gave us all the legal things. I believe for all the legal reasons if you are going to stay together you need that piece of paper.
Ash says
January 6, 2014 at 5:15 pmI don’t think I am ready for marriage – the commitment, the hard work, the selflessnes – but I still believe in it. Until recently I’ve always pictured my life as a single person. All of my goals and aspirations centered around my wants and timeline; however as I’ve grown closer to some of my married friends and family members, I’ve started to see that there is much to be gained from joining forces with another person to accomplish more than what either of you could do independently. With the right person and aligned values, marriage seems to be a lovely thing.
Aisha Kristine Chong says
January 6, 2014 at 5:20 pmAs for traditional purposes – Yes, I still do.
Though what is really important to me is the relationship itself.. rather than the papers and such.
Lady Lilith says
January 6, 2014 at 8:37 pmMarriage is a work of art. The harder you work at it, the better it will be.
Michelle G. says
January 6, 2014 at 9:47 pmIt’s amazing how many people do NOT believe in the joy and happiness that can come along with marriage. It is great to see that it is still being embraced and celebrated.
amanda says
January 7, 2014 at 2:15 amI think happiness and marriage can be together, but that at times, we can’t see marriage as an ends to a mean (happiness) but also see companionship and being content.
md Kennedy says
January 7, 2014 at 5:58 amSo many people seem to think that marriage is a “try it out” thing. My husband and I waited 9 years to make our commitment and we’ve now been married 15 years. We’ve been through thick and thin and are committed – never once did we waver in our commitment to each other.
T.E. Lawrence says
January 7, 2014 at 8:17 amThere isn’t anything wrong with marriage. I think the problems come from people not understanding what marriage is truly about, the hard work it takes and from being unequally yoked.
Kristin Sumner says
January 7, 2014 at 9:18 amI have only been married once, but I am my husband’s 3rd wife. He had a few failed marriages, though he was very young- he was 18 when he got married to his first wife, then 21. We got married and been though ups and downs (we did get divorced, but remarried again). We went through hard times, ups and downs. Now we know God has to be center of our marriage, our family. Things are great and I believe in marriage and feel that it is a huge commitment on both parties. I feel if you can’t commit to me by marriage, you don’t love me enough to give your life up for me.
Kaci says
January 7, 2014 at 11:13 amI believe in marriage, but am running into more and more people who do not. My own boyfriend is one who thinks that the government involvement with marriage is too much. That makes him shy away from it.
Brooke says
January 7, 2014 at 11:45 amSuch an insightful post.
Tough Cookie Mommy says
January 7, 2014 at 1:45 pmI definitely believe in marriage but it’s important to mention that good marriages take a lot of work. Both people have to committed to putting in their equal parts and effort.
Dawn Rader says
January 7, 2014 at 7:21 pmAfter my first marriage I was so scared to trust, scared to love…my first husband had betrayed me in the worst possible way, and the one person going through the same thing and feeling the same pain became my best friend, he became my husband. As strange as that sounds…I believe in marriage, I believe in faith and that everything happens for a reason.
ken smith says
January 8, 2014 at 5:30 ami believe in marriage!
Diana Mahnke says
January 9, 2014 at 12:56 pmMarriage is all about good communication, honesty, and respect. I’ll always be a believer in marriage.
Cassondra Del Rio says
January 12, 2014 at 1:40 pmyes, i believe in marriage. i am a christian woman and to us, marriage is a woman and man, life long, on earth, commitment that God ordained. he wanted that for us. and it glorifies him. i believe God made marriage for a reason =]
amanda brady says
January 29, 2014 at 5:34 pmI cant imagine not having someone to grow old with!! I love my hubbie for better or worse.
Pecanishtan says
March 5, 2014 at 10:26 amI believe in marriage, but remember. Everyone does not love equally, especially men. We women want flowers, candy, mushy sentimental stuff like that. But men are raised to be tough. They show love differently. HIs idea of love may be keeping your car detailed and clean for you, etc… Just watch them. A friend likes flowers. Her husband does not give her flowers, but he gives her diamonds. He says flowers die. He wants to give her something he can see all of the time. I told her “Shut up, take the jewelry and buy your own damn flowers.” See, a simple solution to something she was making an issue out of. Today, they have a happy marriage because she learned to pick your battles and look at the signs of his love. They are there!
Lisa Coomer Queen says
March 12, 2015 at 10:13 amYes, I still believe in marriage. Even after one failed one. I will soon have by 25th anniversary. My parents were married over 50 years when my Mom passed away. Marriage is what you make it.
Morgana DeLarge says
March 13, 2015 at 3:31 amYes, I believe in marriage, I love my husband.