Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Charlie Sheen.
What if they weren’t celebrities, what if somewhere along the way they made choices that lead them down different career paths? What would their lives look like? More importantly, what would their diaries look like? Feel free to comment with your own faux diary entries below…
Disclaimer: Imperfect Women, it’s contributors and affiliates in no way claim to know the innermost thoughts or feelings of the following celebrities. The following is satire and is meant to be read as such.
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
Not sure Librarian was the right career path for me. I keep feeling the need to break loose, wear something outrageous (maybe a dress made of raw meat? LOL!) and change my name to something kicky. Something that sounds regal….. but crazy. I don’t know why, but I think Lady Gaga sounds awesome! Am I right?
Britney Jean Spears
Today I was made partner in the law firm! It’s now Taft, Taft and Spears! Thank God the Mickey Mouse Club rejected me. By now I could be a washed up teen queen, instead I’m a lawyer y’all! That guy (Kevin) asked me out again. We keep bumping into each other at Starbucks. Like I would ever go out with him. He has such a trashy vibe. I’d rather walk barefoot into a gas station bathroom!
Carlos Irwin Estévez
I love my job, I really do. I love helping people with their problems, I’m a great therapist. It’s not the addicts, narcissists, or manic depressives that get to me, at least they’re interesting. Its those trolls I work with. I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star therapist from Mars. My boring co-workers can’t figure me out, I don’t expect them to. They can’t process me with their normal brains.
I have a new therapy technique- Its a coping skill for my patients. I call it, “WINNING!”. No matter what they’re facing- (divorce, custody battles, losing their job, addiction, being despised etc) I encourage them to recite one word to themselves: WINNING! If they repeat it often enough- they actually believe it. It’s amazing! Sure, some may call it delusional. I call it genius. It’s like I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. Gotta go Diary. Off to see a lady (hooker) about a “business arrangement”. Winning!