Written by Liz
Being single is tough sometimes. You have a wedding invite where you can bring a “plus one” and cannot find a person to go with. Friday night rolls around and all you want is to get a call from a guy saying “Hey lets meet at the mall and catch a movie” but instead you watch “Pollyanna” and scrub your kitchen floor (not that *I* have ever done that on a Friday night….). At the same time I refuse to lower my standards and settle for a guy who is not someone I would possibly spend the rest of my life with. Of course I am friends with a lot of guys I would not marry, but dating-wise I feel its best to give yourself time to learn who a person is before you announce you are “In a Relationship” on Facebook.
That being said, there are a few things that are total deal breakers for me. I would not date a guy who smokes. This is just a personal choice- it is not a habit I have, and I do not want my house to smell like cigarettes. I also will not date a guy who is not respectful of me and my convictions. Similar faith and values are a requirement, but there are plenty of guys who claim to be Christian then try to push the limits in private. I need someone who will help me stay accountable and not compromise.
While first impressions are not everything, they are really important and can show a glimpse of whether you will really click with another person. I’ve had my fair share of awkward first dates, including one guy who would walk a couple steps behind me and never look me in the eye (my mom said it sounded like he was intimidated… but who would be intimidated of me?!), as well as one who spilled his entire glass of water on me at Olive Garden. I do not have that much experience with dating compared to most, but I also try my best to be composed and calm as much as possible. I guess I hope for the same respect in return- that he won’t waste the entire meal talking about himself without even thinking to ask how my day was, or that he will actually open the door for me.
The biggest issue is just one of communication. In the movie “Hitch,” Will Smith’s character reminds guys that if you are on a first date you need to remember that the girl has already said yes when she could have said no. This is a very true statement- even if I have some reservations about a guy’s personality and whether there will be a spark, something about him made me say yes and he should stop fidgeting with his napkin, look me in the eye, and say something that makes me laugh. While being single is not always easy, at least I know I am good at it. Dating is also difficult at times, but I am sure that eventually the right guy will come along and remember that his glass needs to stay upright.