If you were planning on romantically pursuing either of the parties involved, put your plans on hold, because Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are maybe not getting divorced. Apparently Vanessa is just sure she can change Kobe and it’ll all work out great this time. She also believes in unicorns, UFOs and John Travolta’s heterosexuality.
Taylor Armstrong of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “fame” is supposedly cutting back on her drinking following a wild-even-by-Andy-Cohen’s-standards spa outing in Ojai a month or so ago. A source claimed that Taylor would not “have just 10 drinks, she has like 30 or 40.” Since when would 10 drinks be at the low end of the spectrum? You’d think by 30 or 40 Armstrong would be dead, if not from alcohol poisoning from water intoxication. Sheesh. In other Taylor news, a survey of her assets (prompted by a lawsuit judgment against her) revealed that her Birkin bags are fake! Who knew anything related to the Real Housewives franchise wasn’t 100% genuine? I think I’ll be needing my smelling salts, lest I swoon.
Depending on which reports you read (and believe), Britney Spears is not doing so well on The X Factor, behaving erratically and disappearing from taping at will. Uh-oh. Not only is hairy-chested Brit Simon Cowell displeased, he’s reportedly “concerned” about Britney. As am I, but I have the feeling my concern is more genuine. Leave Britney alone, world!
Scandalous scandal! Barely repentant girlfriend beater Chris Brown got an owie in a bar fight the other night; said owie was allegedly served up by Canadian former teen star of Degrassi: The Next Generation and current “rapper” Drake (or possibly one of his
friends “entourage”). The cause of the fight was either: 1) jealousy brought on by their mutual regard for Rihanna, 2) “trash talking” during an evening out at a NYC club, 3) the fact that they are both enormous dumbasses. I am going with Door Number 3, myself.
Lindsay Lohan was apparently so “exhausted” by doing her actual job and working as an actress that she fell into a completely-not-drug-induced slumber so deep that paramedics were called when she couldn’t be roused. Don’t you hate it when you go to sleep and get awakened by seven paramedics ‘cause you were just sleeping so deeply? Yeah, me neither.
That’s it for now. Remember, if you’re in a hip club with Chris Brown and/or Drake, watch out for flying bottles!
About the Author:
Jennie has contributed to Imperfect Women since its inception in 2009. She writes about politics, celebrity news, and anything else that catches her interest. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.