Hello Celebrity Watchers! It’s the greatest day of the year for Hollywood fans – Oscar Day! Do you have your Academy Award outfit picked out yet? I’m trying to decide between my gray-and-white striped pajamas and my orange-and-pink striped pajamas. Anyone know what color is currently the new black?
I hope y’all didn’t pick out a present in blue for the Kimye Westdashian spawn yet, because Kanye and Kim are having a GIRL! I predict she’ll be
the first female president of the United States the star of a crappy reality show some day. With Kris Jenner for a grandmother, there’s nothing this baby can’t do (as long as it makes Kris money).
After eight years of marriage, Diane Lane and Josh Brolin have divorced. I have nothing to say except that as a tween obsessed with “The Outsiders”, I wanted to *be* Diane Lane. Hey, anyone know what Matt Dillon is up to? Dallas and Cherry forever!
Noted puffy-pants wearer MC Hammer was arrested in Dublin, CA this past week for either obstructing and resisting an officer (the police version) or nothing/racial profiling (Hammer version). I guess u can touch this (hahaha, I amuse myself).
(Side note of no particular import: I once had really good Japanese food at a strip mall in Dublin. I’d never be able to find that place again, though. Bummer.)
Calvin Klein’s ex-boyfriend was set to write a tell-all about his one-time love (digression: does anyone care that much about Calvin Klein’s dirty laundry?), but has changed his mind. Nick Gruber (profession: astrophysicist; nah, I’m just kidding, he’s a former underwear model, natch) says that he was offered as much as $375,000 for the undoubtedly weighty tome, but that it “wasn’t worth it.” Gruber went on to state (bonus multiple choice guessing game time!) that:
a) “..I just did not want to hurt him….I am a good person, not a mean person.”
b) “His lawyer sent me a heart-attack letter and when I stopped hyperventilating and uncurled myself from the fetal position I realized that he is way rich and could totally destroy me.”
c) “Love is a beautiful thing. Money doesn’t matter at all.”
d) “He is paying me so much more than $375,000 to make this go away. Hahahahaha!!!!!” (insert manical laughter; Gruber then lights expensive cigar with hundred dollar bill)
If you want to go with what Gruber actually SAID, the correct answer is e). If you want to go with what actually probably HAPPENED, I’m guessing the answer is either b), d) or f).
Until next time, darlings!
Jennie has contributed to Imperfect Women since its inception in 2009. She writes about politics, celebrity news, and anything else that catches her interest.