Celebrity News: Love Gone Wrong, Movie Openings And A Sad Death I Really Don’t Care About
Autumn has arrived, and along with all of the traditional wonderful fall smells (pumpkin spice lattes! burning leaves!), love is in the air. Unfortunately for several of this week’s highlighted celebrities, the scent is eau-de-love-gone-wrong:
* Noted older woman/younger man couple Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are said to be on the rocks. We’d wonder if the marriage curse of Two and a Half Men had struck again (Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller – didn’t we all think they’d last forever?), but it may have more to do with rumors that Ashton slept with some skank in San Diego. Rumors circulated by said skank, by the way. It’s sad, but one can’t really expect Ashton to make do with elderly Demi, who is no doubt falling apart at her advanced age (I mean, so we’d assume, barring photographic evidence to the contrary). Have we mentioned that Demi is older than Ashton? Fifteen years older! Which is not nearly so great as the 25 year age difference between Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, but is somehow much more notable, or at least gets noted a lot more. Hmm. Anyway, the maybe-estranged couple were sighted together at the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles on Friday, so maybe it’s true that faddish Hollywood religions can solve all of your problems. I certainly hope so! Demi is going to need someone to care for her in her golden years, which are of course just around the corner (being that, and we may have forgotten to note this, Demi is older than Ashton). Anyway, we hope
those crazy kids (that kid and really old lady) work things out!
* Kelsey and Camille Grammer appeared in family court Friday, supposedly meeting face to face for the first time since they separated. Kelsey made the dick move (I believe that’s the legal term) of bringing the
skank he left Camille for with him to court. Kelsey and his new skank wife walked into the courtroom holding hands, presumably because she needs to keep him attached at all times to prevent him from running off with the barista at Starbucks or whatever. (And yes, I am going to be referring to all women who sleep with married men as skanks in this week’s column. I’m feeling judgy today.) Anyway, Kelsey “won” the battle at issue on Friday, as much as anyone ever wins in family court. He was given the right to have their two kids with him while he’s in Los Angeles for the next week. The victory was a bit of a double-edged sword, though, because the judge ruled that Kelsey has to personally escort the children to all of their weekly activities, which include sports games, dance classes and therapy. It’s said that Camille intends to attend these events, as she typically does. If so, there may be more fireworks to report next week!
* Actor James Marsden’s wife, Lisa Linde, filed for divorce this past week, citing “irreconcilable differences.” I always just think of James Marsden as “the one who’s not James Franco”, or at least I do when I’m not thinking, “wait, is it James Marsden or James Franco I’m thinking of?” For those keeping score at home, James Marsden appeared in the X-Men films and James Franco appeared in the Spiderman films. Since I’d only ever watch either franchise, or any other comic-book based movie, if I were forced to and/or compensated in the high double figures. I don’t know why I care. I should just call them James Franco-Marsden and be done with it.
* Several interesting looking movies open this weekend, as the fall movie season revs up in earnest. (Fall is my favorite movie season, with more Oscar-bait films appearing, as opposed to summer blockbuster season, which is comprised mostly of stupid movies in which lots of things blow up.) The best looks to be 50/50 a cancer-related comedy-drama starring my pretend younger boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Also opening is Dream House, which looks to be a routine horror movie elevated by the presence of noted British thespians Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz (okay, they aren’t Vanessa Redgrave and Jeremy Irons, but they have English accents! Everyone knows that means they are Serious Actors!). Finally, What’s Your Number?, a romantic comedy that, if I’m understanding the commercials correctly, is about how many men a woman has slept with, is elevated (hopefully) by the presence of the adorable Anna Faris in the starring role.
* The trial of Dr. Conrad Murray in the death of Michael Jackson opened this week. Murray is charged with involuntary manslaughter in the June 2009 drug-related death of Jackson (side note: I could have sworn it was 2010! Time goes so fast!). Stuff happened in court this week. I cannot bring myself to care, but if you feel so inclined, have at it in the comments.
Have a celeberrific week, folks!
About the Author:
Jennie has contributed to Imperfect Women since its inception in 2009. She writes about politics, celebrity news, and anything else that catches her interest. She can be reached at email@example.com.