Imperfect Women is honored to host this leg of Gardenia Destang’s Virtual Book Tour celebration of her debut novel, Becoming Me.
I would like to thank Jen from Imperfect Women for hosting me as a guest blogger, as part of the virtual book tour celebration for my debut novel, Becoming Me. Thank you too, Jen for hosting a giveaway of the book. What does ‘becoming me’ mean, anyway? Here are my thoughts.
In 2010, November I had the idea to write a book and to complete it. My background with writing is plays and one television mini-series, thus even though I challenged myself to the task of writing a novel I was terrified. Why? Well in writing a book and publishing it, I was about to place myself in front of public scrutiny, going up against well established authors; face rejection from publishers; lose financially in that I would have invested funds into this, but not actually make it back. However, despite these potential fears there was something inside that nudged me forward…so I continued to write and became published.
The story itself was easy. Sitting in my bed with my laptop on my lap, it happened. I can’t exactly say I had a plan; that I knew who the characters would be or where the story would go. What I did do however, was spend some time (not a lot I admit) in personalizing and profiling the main characters. In a lot of ways the protagonist represents me. I still think there is a whole lot more to me…to becoming me. Like Terri, I am on my journey to becoming me, recognizing it is a lifelong process where I need to constantly analyze, reassess and redefine myself. What I am today is not necessarily where I would want to be tomorrow, next week or even next year.
This is not unique to me and from the feedback I have been getting, many of the women who have read Becoming Me are struck with this realization: they need to become “me” and have embarked on this journey.
But what does it mean to ‘become me’? You? I am still working on this, but what I do know is that it is an individual thing. No one can tell you who you are, and are to become. Some of us grow up with plans already being set for us, or some of us fall into the rut of just being – existing. We go through the motions of doing what we think others want us to do, to be. Then before we know it, we are a certain age and we start to think it’s too late, that we are destined to continue and end on the path we started on. We restrict ourselves to rules and yet there is a nudging, something inside that says, “I want more…I want to be…Me”
Becoming oneself starts with a realization that there is more to you, than the you, you are now and that you can be more, do more, with what is within your reach and capabilities. It means not settling and living in the dregs of compromise. So for me, I’m on a journey of becoming me. Borrowing one of Terri’s motivating quotes by Mark Twain, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Becoming one’s self is not stagnant. It is optimizing oneself and abilities to be the best that you can be at every juncture in your life. What about you? Have you given any thoughts to what it means to become you?
Bio:
Gardenia Destang is the author of ‘Becoming Me’. Visit her author’s blog and check out the full schedule for the virtual book tour celebration for this Amazon Kindle Bestselle.
Gardenia is known for screen plays and her love for writing was given full expression when, on a whim, she decided to write her first book. While she wrote the book ‘Becoming Me’ for entertainment, Gardenia was cognizant of portraying issues that women can identify with, making it real. You can purchase this book, her debut novel, on Amazon.
GIVEAWAY
Now for the giveaway! Gardenia has graciously donated an eBook of Becoming Me! Imperfect Women would like you to enjoy reading Becoming Me with a good cup of coffee and a delicious pastry, so we are adding a $15 Starbucks Gift Card to the prize! Enter in the rafflecopter below.
This Giveaway is now closed.
Official Rules: Must be 18 or older to enter. Open to U.S. residents only. Giveaway ends June 24th, 2013 at Midnight Eastern time. The winner will be selected on or before June 26nd, 2013 and notified by email. Winners have 48 hours from date/time of email to respond. If no response is received within the time limit, winner forfeits the prize and a new winner will be drawn.
Disclosure: Imperfect Women did not receive compensation for this post. Our opinions are our own and may differ from those of your own. IW is not responsible for the delivery of the eBook prize.
Yes, I have thought a lot about where I have been in life and where I might end up. I am amazed to remember what it felt like to learn something and become something I “just knew” at that point, like a light from above breaking over me.
Sometimes i wish i knew what i know now when i was younger, you know the saying…but then I would not learned and lived the life i have now…
i just love life and i love who i am and what i have become…
thanks for making me stop and think about my life…it is good!!
I am still a work in progress! I don’t think it’s ever to late to “become you”. This book will definitely go on my must read list.
I think it takes time to realize what that fully means. That’s why it is so important to spend time with yourself and your thoughts.
A book and Starbucks?? What a great giveaway
I sure have, I feel like I forgot all about my dreams for some time while focusing on my family, my daughter with special needs, trying to get out of debt etc. Now I am changing that and finding ME. 🙂
I think sometimes I put way to much value on what I do rather than becoming me.
Congratulations on your book. I try to learn something new everyday.
Everyone takes their own journey to becomming the person they are. I know that I would not be ‘me’ without the things I have done and been and seen.
I’m definitely not the same “me” as I was just a few years ago. I think as we learn and grow each day we become a new “me”. I look forward to reading Gardenia’s book!
With a full house and two boys that keep me on my toes it is hard to put much thought on myself (I barely have time to shower). But I am starting to take more me time (I am starting to read again for example).
Wow, Gardenia your story is impressive, and a good reminder that well all must continue to grow, learn and try something new!
Sometimes I think I am more “me” than I used to be, but I think that’s just a reflection of becoming more comfortable in my own skin, which is a pretty natural (I think) by-product of getting older. I have to remind myself that those previous “me”s served their purpose too. It’s all a journey! Thanks for the thought-provoking words!
“Becoming one’s self is not stagnant”- so, so true!
This is a great giveaway! I’m enjoying reading everyone’s reflections and it’s causing me to think about my own safe harbor and how to throw off the bowlines.
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I’m curious to learn more about how the author approaches screen plays vs. writing a novel? Congrats on Becoming Me!
Hi Jen
Thank you for partnering with me on this journey and sharing ‘Becoming Me’ with your audiences. Special thanks for being a tour host for this exciting virtual book tour celebration. I look forward to interacting with your community and welcome their questions and comments. Here’s to becoming us! Imperfect and all! 🙂
Gardenia
I can’t even imagine what it must be like to finish writing a book! How did it feel for you?
Patty
Gardenia,
Thanks for sharing part of your journey with us!
“Here’s to becoming us! Imperfect and all!” — So true! I think the ladies here embrace our imperfections and know that’s what makes us real.
Big congrats on finishing your book! Was writing a book everything you thought it would be? Was there anything about the process that took you by surprise?
i think it takes a lot of independence and new experiences. you have to challenge yourself.
Congrats on ur book! kudos!
@. Pattypie. It is an awesome feeling! Just the fact that I finished was an exhilaration that I would always treasure. I have done something that so many have considered but never actually done! I challenged myself to do, be, become me, the author me; and I did just that! Once you get excited about something you should dive in head on and discipline (though extremely difficult) yourself to see it through. I am pretty sure anyone can do it! Whatever you desire to be, become, get excited! Get to it!
@ Jen. Writing this book was absolutely one of the best experiences of my life yet! Truly, the writing process (at least the first couple of drafts) for “Becoming Me” was fairly easy. I fell in love with the my characters and lived through them in the manuscript. What was challenging was determining what to do with regards to editing and publishing after the writing process. I once heard we all have at lest one good story in us, but the challenge is getting others to hear(read) about it. While there are many options currently available to independent authors, it is still challenging getting the book ready and presentable for the public! Would I trade my experience for an easier route? Never! I grew as a result of this process and the lessons learned I am forever grateful.
Thanks for your support and encouragement!,
@ Anya@IW. Thank you for your congratulations and encouragement. Screen plays are much easier to write in my mind than writing a novel. With screen plays there are straight forward dialogue and emotions that are conveyed in one liners or minimal phrases; e.g. (Gardenia gets mad and walk away. Or Gardenia cries). Through the direction phase, the actress (Gardenia) is directed as to how much anger, tears that are deemed necessary and she tries it until she gets it correct. She spends time internalizing the script to get the best emotions and reactions. However, in a book I have to place context, time , emotions in such a way that the reader can visualize as if watching a screen play. There are no opportunities to say “cut! Let’s do it again” thus more descriptions are required. With scripts, the reader views with their eyes, with novels they view through their minds.
But of course there is the challenge of getting the right actors to deliver the script as envisioned in the producer/writer mind’s eyes! With a novel you have total control! The likability and the reality of the actors, characters are all dependent on you! Scripts are exciting but writing novels is even more fascinating!
Thank you earthlingorgeous! Here’s to becoming you!
Thanks all for your support and encouragement! I really appreciate it!
I have given thought to it especially now that I’ve started doing things again that I used to enjoy doing but had let them go. It felt so good to start running and reading for fun again I realized that a piece of me had been missing. There are still things that I’m missing but with time it will come.
After 64 years I think I’m a good friend to others and to myself.
Thanks for the contest.
I’m still trying to find the balance in my life that will allow me to “become me”. Right now, I’m a mom, a wife, a designer, a writer. I’m working on stepping outside of my box to experience new things.
Never, but now you got me thinkin’! I did realize recently that I needn’t try so hard -I am who I am -like it or lump it!
Yes, I know exactly who I am.
I think becoming you differs throughout life. There’s a certain “you” for each stage of life
Becoming: yes, I’ve given this much thought. I think we are always in a state of “becoming” — or we should look at things this way. Otherwise, you just get stuck and don’t progress.
I should give more thought to the idea of becoming.
I’ve only recently started to think about who I want to become instead of just meandering through the days
Being comfortable with my strengths, weaknesses, body and mind over time is how I became me.
To be me means to do what it takes to make my life fulfilled – live for myself, not others.
I think we are all correct. I am no expert on this but from my own personal experience, becoming oneself does not depend on a sole or great act. It’s the little things that contribute to bringing you contentment, peace within yourself.
Adrianne B, most certainly it is in part being comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses, body and mind- accepting who you are.
Sarah L you are dead on about being friends with yourself, becoming your own best friend. Thanks for sharing that one.
@Cathy Shaw, I feel the same way also. becoming me is progress through life and not feeling/being stuck.
@Julia and Hannah@supermommy!…or not – good for you! Keep at it. Try new things, be you!
@Colleen…it is ALL ABOUT YOU! Of course we have to consider how our decisions will affect those in our circle but at times you have to be make that decision that is BEST FOR YOU.
Good for you Tammy Shelton! I wish more of us were at that point- knowing who we are.
Yvette- Most definitely, Becoming you is not constant rather forever changing, adapting to where you are and what is happening at a given point in your life.
Carrie, John Lealy, and eileen Marie start by thinking about who you think you are and/or want to become. Make a list, start with small steps, follow your heart. 🙂
Good luck to all on your journey to becoming you. Cheers!
I have asked who am I before but not what it means to be me!
@ Stephania Phleps. See my blog
http://www.australianwomenonline.com/next-stop-on-gardenia-destangs-virtual-book-tour/
Best of luck in defining who you are and/or who you are meant to be. 🙂
First, a big congratulations to Gardenia! I enjoyed reading how your book came to be.
This is such a great post!!!
Sometimes I think I am more “me” than I used to be, but I think that’s just a reflection of becoming more comfortable in my own skin, which is a pretty natural (I think) by-product of getting older. I have to remind myself that those previous “me”s served their purpose too. It’s all a journey! Thanks for the thought-provoking words! ~JennieIW
Ditto ditto. The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. It is a journey to work through the conceptions of society, what means something and what means nothing, figuring out the world (not that I figured it out..but you know…you live and learn). I also have to remind myself that those previous “me’s” served a purpose. Yes, even the 80’s me.
Becoming me is a continuous process in which we learn and grow we are never stagnant becoming self aware is a learning process of which we are never done learning!
I suppose I have thought about that in some way over the years but a better way to spend my time is to pursue pleasing God
I have not really thought about it!!
Every day I aim to be mindful & being honest with myself about who I am.
that’s one which is always evolving…
I have thought of it some, but I try not to over think it.
Often. Who “me” is often changes or develops more, and I feel like I am constantly working on it.
I have given a lot of thought to what it took to make me the person I am today. I do look forward to seeing how the future will evolve me even further,
I am always trying to discover myself. You change so much and are continually moving into different roles, that it is hard!
I believe change is a necessary part of life & enjoy the discovery of improving the person that I am now.
Yes, I know exactly who I am.
Yes, I am always working on becoming a better me. I am a work in progress!
Sometime with kids and family life we forget how to be ourselves! We become an extension of those around us. So it’s important to remember who we are, our dreams and not lose sight of our importance and wants along with everyone else’s.
For me becoming me is becoming who I am in Christ.
yes i have given it some thought
Congrats to Adrianne B for winning the eBook and Starbucks gift card!
Congrats to Adrianne B! Thank you to all who participated and showed interest in Becoming Me and this discussion. As a demonstration of my appreciation for the support I have received, the book is available on Amazon at a very special price, for a few days only. http://tinyurl.com/kauwuac
Thank you for stopping by, Gardenia. Adrianne was excited and also thanked us on our Facebook page. Thanks for the info on your book. I will get that out on Twitter tomorrow and our Facebook page.