By Katie Bulmer
So there’s this thing…this ugly, strangling, ever-present annoyance that just won’t leave me alone, it’s called comparison.
I’ve read the books, shared the quotes, heck even written the blogs about how to stop comparing myself to others. But no matter what I do I just can’t become immune to comparing myself to other women. I don’t think I’m alone in this.
I mean have you seen her?
Have you seen super mom who is team mom of everything her child does?
Have you seen her who is on top of her industry and published in all the trade magazines?
Have you seen her who cooks all organic, made from scratch masterpieces?
Have you seen her who has 8 children and home schools, and is sane?
Have you seen her who can still pull off wearing a bikini after having kids?
I’ve seen her. She is everywhere and in every town. But the shocking thing…the thing I NEVER notice is every once in a while…when the stars are all aligned. I see her in the mirror.
I know what you are thinking, What??!! Who is this crazy self righteous blog writer? I know, I know, Stay with me for just a second.
After my years of blogging about “imperfect people,” I have come to realize one very important fact. The comparison trap problem lies in me comparing my behind the scenes to her highlight reel.
The truth is we all get it “right” on occasion. We all have the super mom moments, the career highlights, the dinners that didn’t burn, the quality time with our kids and the skinny jeans that just work for us.
On occasion we are all….pause for dramatic effect…THAT GIRL.
But why don’t we give ourselves encouragement on those days? Why do we notice others accomplishments so much more than our own?
Next time I feel inferior to someone else’s accomplishments there are 3 steps I can take that are total game changers leading to self confidence and getting rid of that ugly little comparison trap
1) ACKNOWLEDGE the thought. Ignoring a fire in the living room doesn’t make it go away. Much like ignoring bad thoughts in your mind doesn’t help anything.
2) CELEBRATE others accomplishments. Jealously is an ugly thing. Celebrating our friends triumphs is the best way to kill jealousy. Fake it till ya make it.
3) GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. We all have talents in one area or another. The crafty mom may not be the corporate mom or the prettiest friend may not be the best cook but we all bring something to the table. Your talent(s) is uniquely yours and you are made perfectly imperfect just the way you are.
Moving forward I am armed with these 3 quick little mental steps to help me live in the present, appreciate the woman in the mirror, and celebrate the victories in other’s lives.
How do you avoid the comparison trap? What are some ways struggles you have in this area?
About the Author:
Katie Bulmer is passionate about getting out of her comfort zone, keeping it real and striving to see the positive in everyday. She is all about living simply, getting back to basics, and realizing how much we have instead of wanting more. Katie’s house is never spotless, she is only marginally crafty, and her children sometimes drive her bananas. Katie says she is not a perfect christian, homemaker, mom, or wife. And she is officially over pretending. You can read more of Katie’s writing on her blog, Imperfect People.