By Jennie
I first became obsessed with the Mitford sisters in 2001, when I read the enormously compelling and entertaining biography, The Sisters: the Saga of the Mitford Family by Mary S. Lovell. I had been aware of Jessica Mitford as a local (she lived in Oakland, CA for many years) and a muckraking journalist (famous for her expose of the funeral industry, The American Way of Death), but I had no idea that she came from this scandalous, brilliant and eccentric British family who were somewhat famous (or perhaps infamous) in England during the 20th century.
Jessica Mitford was the sixth of seven children; five of the seven children led notable public lives:
Nancy Mitford became a novelist, famous for such semi-autobiographical books as The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate;
Pamela Mitford was referred to by a family friend as the “rural Mitford”; she led the quietest life of the Mitford girls, by far;
Tom Mitford, the only son of the family, died in Burma as a soldier in World War II;
Diana Mitford, the acknowledged beauty of the girls, made a brilliant marriage to Guinness beer heir Bryan Guinness, and then caused a scandal by leaving him for British Fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley;
Unity Mitford was an ardent fascist, admirer and confidante of Adolf Hitler; she shot herself in the head in Germany after war was declared between Germany and the United Kingdom. She lived for seven more years, though she never fully recovered from her injuries;
Jessica Mitford, who shared a room with Unity as a child and was so close to her that they spoke their own made-up language to each other, ended up defying her family’s fascist leanings, becoming an ardent Communist. She later renounced the party, moved to America, and became an activist and journalist;
Deborah Mitford, the youngest of the family (the only one of the Mitford children alive today) became the Duchess of Devonshire upon her marriage, thus marrying into one of the oldest and most prestigious titles in England.
These are just thumbnail sketches – the whole family is endlessly fascinating and I could probably write a book about them myself. Why Jessica specifically as an Amazing Woman? Well, politically I’m certainly closer to her than Unity or Diana (though I’m not a Communist). I don’t think “amazing woman” need translate to “perfect woman” – there are things about Jessica (known to friends as Decca) that I don’t like. She seems to have been a rather indifferent parent (perhaps aping what she had learned from her own parents – one anecdote related by Nancy regarding their mother went as follows: “On one occasion Unity rushed into the drawing-room where she was at her writing -table, saying ‘Muv, Muv, Decca is standing on the roof – she says she’s going to commit suicide!’ ‘Oh, poor duck,’ said my mother, ‘I hope she won’t do anything so terrible,’ and went on writing.”). Decca could be spiteful and willful (she carried on feuds with various relatives, most notably Diana, for many years). It’s probably fair to say that at least some of her brilliant, riotously funny anecdotes (found in her memoirs Hons and Rebels and A Fine Old Conflict) are, shall we say, a bit embellished. Yet still I admire her, for her humor, her courage, and her dedication to her principles.
Jessica Mitford appears to have been born strong-willed – I love the photo above (from an album she produced with her late-in-life “cowbell and kazoo orchestra” Decca and the Dectones) because it encapsulates her the way I view her – defiant and a bit bratty. She opened a bank account for “running away” money as a child, in response to the disappointment of not being allowed to go to school as her brother did (she and her sisters were homeschooled as many young ladies of her class were at the time). She developed her political philosophy at an early age, and when she was 18 she eloped to Spain with her second cousin Esmond Romilly, whom she had long admired from afar for his political writings. This move put quite a rift between Decca and her family – they actually involved legal authorities in an attempt to retrieve her, as she was still considered a minor. Eventually, they reconciled themselves somewhat to the union, and Decca and Esmond settled in London. They were living in poverty when she gave birth to their daughter Julia, who died at five months of measles. The couple emigrated to the United States, working odd jobs and moving frequently, rather at the mercy of Romilly’s get rich quick schemes. Romilly joined the Royal Canadian Air Force when Britain declared war on Germany, and Decca gave birth to another daughter, Constancia. Esmond Romilly was killed in action in November 1941 in a bombing raid. Decca took his death very hard.
In 1943 Jessica met American civil rights attorney Robert Treuhaft, the son of Hungarian immigrants. They married and had two sons, one of whom was killed at age 10 when he was hit by a bus while on his bicycle. Mitford and Treuhaft settled in Oakland, CA, and began working for a variety of leftist causes. In 1953 Mitford and Treuhaft were summoned to testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee; both refused to testify about their association with the Communist Party. They eventually left the party in 1958, disillusioned by the repression in the Soviet Union and tired of party politics.
Mitford published her first memoir, Hons and Rebels, in 1960, and a later memoir, detailing her involvement with and eventually estrangement from the Communist Party, A Fine Old Conflict in 1978. She gained fame for The American Way of Death, a critical look at the American funeral industry and the tactics employed to drive up the cost of funerals; Mitford felt that the industry was set up to take advantage of grieving families when they were at their most vulnerable.
Mitford went on to write several more books of investigative journalism, staying true to her motto, “You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty.” She died in 1996 at the age of 78 of lung cancer. In accordance with her beliefs, she had a no-frills funeral – she was cremated and her ashes buried at sea – that cost a little over $500.
I was drawn to your blog post by a Google alert for mentions of Jessica Mitford. I’m the editor of “Decca: The Letters of Jessica Mitford,” which you might enjoy reading, if you haven’t done so already. It’s the closest thing yet published to a biography of Mitford, though there are two biographies in the works.
By the way, I don’t believe the “motto” you cite in your last paragraph (“You may not be able to change the world …”) is actually from Decca, though the misattribution has been repeated frequently enough that you’d have a hard time proving otherwise from a Google search. It certainly sounds like Decca, but it appears to have originated in a review of one of Decca’s books. The quotation came from the reviewer, not from Decca herself. I feel sorry for the poor guy who wrote that brilliant “motto” but will never be able to prove it because error repeated enough begins to sound like truth.
Peter Sussman
Hi Peter! I actually bought that book for my aunt, intending to borrow it when she finished, but I’ve never gotten it from her. I’m definitely interesting in reading it, since Mitford seems to have been a prolific and entertaining correspondent.
Thanks for the info on the quote I attributed to her; I was a little hesitant to include it, but as you state there are quite a few sites that credit her with it. One thing I find with Mitford (true of other highly quotable figures – how many quotes are misattributed to Oscar Wilde?) is that there are stories and witticisms floating around that are hard to prove or disprove the truth of. I swear my mother told me a story that she’d heard once about Mitford and Maya Angelou, but when I tried googling it I could find nothing. The story went like this (paraphrased): Angelou and Mitford were in the South in the 1960s working with the Civil Rights movement; they found themselves in some sort of threatening situation, the details of which I’ve forgotten. Mitford comforted Angelou by telling her briskly, “Don’t worry dear, we’ll just tell them I’m your mother”, apparently unconcerned that Angelou was only about 10 years younger, a foot taller and quite a bit blacker than her. I loved that story.
My mother was a great admirer of Decca’s, too. She attended Mitford’s memorial service and had one of the thrills of her life when the late, great Molly Ivins bummed a cigarette off of her there.
I’m thrilled to hear that there are biographies in the works of her. I cannot get enough of all things Mitford.
“You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty.”
No matter who this quote belongs to- it’s a great one! I love it. Thanks Jennie.
Jennie, your mother’s story of Mitford and Angelou is true in spirit, though less so in some details. In fact, it’s a far better story. There’s no condensing a tale told by two such great storytellers, so here it is, as retold by Angelou, in all its original glory:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/e/a/1996/07/30/NEWS2490.dtl
Peter
Peter, thank you so much for digging that up for me! I had a feeling the anecdote had come from Mitford’s memorial service, but I never thought to check SFGate.
I love Jessica/Decca and am fascinated by all things Mitford. I am excited to hear that there are more bio’s in the works.
Peter, I checked out your website and saw all the praise your book received. J.K. Rowling is a fan? Good taste.
I think it’s hard not to admire Decca, whether you agree with her politically or not. She was fearless and absolutely stood up for what she believed in.
I think her complicated affection for Unity is one of the more fascinating parts of the sisters story.
For me, one of Decca’s more imperfect moments was writing to cousin Winston Churchill in 1943 to protest her sister Diana’s release from jail.
“They [Diana and her husband] should be kept in jail, where they belong.”
Of course, it does lead to another one of my favorite Mitford anecdotes as oldest sister Nancy, who happened to agree with Decca politically on most matters, pronounced her letter “not very sisterly.” I love understatement. Priceless.
Thanks Jennie for bringing this woman and this bit of history to my attention. I have put this on my list of things to read and learn about in the very near future. Seems like there is quite a bit of interesting and rich material here to read. I would imagine that this would make a great movie and was wondering as I read all of this including the link to the 1996 newspaper article, who would play Jessica if a movie was made?
I have more to say later, but I wanted to drop in and say I really enjoyed learning about all this. I’ve never heard of her. I like women who defied convention. I listened to a few moments of a couple of songs from her Kazoo band. Wow, it was hard to hear, but it must have been fun.
Lily, you won’t find it on my resume — a stupid oversight on my part — but I was a member of that kazoo band on two occasions, one of them at Decca’s memorial. It was the highlight of my otherwise undistinguished (uncharitable critics would say indistinguishable) musical career.
I wouldn’t fret about not hearing the music better. There was nothing further to hear. In fact, those with a discerning ear might dispute that there was any music involved. We were as unconventional and heedless as the soloist who drew us together. Some people just don’t understand pioneering music!
Here’s a quote from a letter in my book in which Decca wrote about the reaction to one of her performances:
Peter, I loved that recollection. I have to get my hands on your book!
Pam, who to play Jessica?
Hmm. The first name that comes to mind is Julianne Moore. I think she is an amazing actress and could pull it off, but the two JM’s (Julianne and Jessica) don’t really share a physical resemblance. Not sure how important that is…
Maybe others will think of another choice….
Peter, I was trying to read some on your blog this morning, but had to get a little one off to school. I am interested in the book you edited. I’m glad you came over to share your experiences with us. The kazoo playing band is one of the things I like about Jessica’s personality (of what little I have read). Though, the highlights of her life are telling in themselves. She’s fascinating. When I said it was hard to hear, I meant, I am one of those who are in agreement w/the review you shared. 🙂 But, I like it regardless, because of people getting together to have purposeful fun.
How cool is it to have kazoos played at your memorial? You gotta love that.
I went to the link provided regarding Maya Angelou and Jessica Mitford. Jessica was brave and bold to walk out alone in the country w/her. It cracks me up she tried to pass herself off as Maya’s mother.
Even though it was written in 1963, I am also interested in her expose of funeral industry. It sounds interesting and I like learning about the author through the way they write.
As I said, I like to learn about woman who defy convention and live their life the way they think it should be lived. Jessica Mitford sounds like a shining example of that. I look forward to learning more about her. Thanks Jennie, I would have never known.
I found this blog post, and the subsequent comments, while googling for research towards my PhD thesis on Mitford literature.If anyone hasn’t yet read it, I highly recommend Peter Y Sussman’s edition of Decca’s letters. Decca’s always been my favourite of the Mitfords, and I’ve just published a book about her and Esmond Romilly, her first husband. (“Churchill’s Rebels: Jessica Mitford and Esmond Romilly”)After many years of general reading about Decca and her family, I actually wrote the book because I became very interested in Esmond and his family, and feel he gets a rather raw deal from most “Mitford” books.Fascinating to wonder what Decca’s life would’ve been without him.
Meredith, I will look up your book! I feel like I haven’t gotten much information about Esmond in the books I’ve read.
Jennie, I hope you enjoy the book. I had quite a lot of help from the Romilly family when researching it, and discovered a great deal never before used about Esmond. He was Churchill’s nephew by marriage, fought in the Spanish Civil War,and wrote two rather good books, one with his brother, Giles, who was imprisoned in Colditz for most of WW2. He(E) was clearly someone people either loved or loathed, and unfortunately most of the Mitford side loathed him. There is one book about him, “Rebel” by Kevin Ingram, written in the 80s, and it doesn’t give a lot of background. Philip Toynbee also wrote about him in “Friends Apart”, but got a lot of things wrong, as I was able to prove when researching my own book. Re the Maya Angelou incident quoted above: at about the time Decca was “mothering” Angelou through that, her brother-in-law the egregious Sir Oswald Mosley was compaigning very nastily against black immigration in Britain. Yet another of the many contrasts in this family!