Over the last few years I have “reinvented” many parts of my life and that includes how I celebrate the holidays. What used to bring me anxiety, stress, and a feel of constant rushing, now brings me a feeling of happy anticipation, appreciation, and joy. During holiday time most women put themselves last and feel it is up to them to provide an environment that makes everyone else happy. Let’s change that thinking and start creating a holiday that brings us joy and happiness too.
1. Ask yourself “how do you want to feel” during the holidays?
After reading The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte, I started a practice that has truly been life changing. Every morning before I get out of bed I ask myself “how do I want to feel today?” Every day is different. Some days I want to feel like a bad-ass business woman, while other days I want to be an ambassador of love. Then there are those days I want to feel like I am practicing the highest level of “self care” and taking good care of myself and I just want to feel happy and stress free. For the holidays I want to feel loving, relaxed, and grateful. Ask yourself “how do I want to feel this holiday season” and then figure out what it will take to create those feelings.
2. Stop comparing!
Do what works for your family! I follow quite a few business coaches and lifestyle coaches on Facebook and on blogs and it took me awhile to realize that often those natural photos we see are crafted by a style team! These people have hairdressers, clothing stylists, makeup artists, even “stagers” to make their home look a certain way. Do not compare yourself to what you see in the media! If your family wants to sit in front of the TV all day and watch football dressed in your sweats, then do it. Do what makes your family happy and content.
3. Simple is best.
One big lesson I learned is that when serving holiday meals, unless you are gourmet cook or a “Foodie,” you don’t need an endless supply of food including five types of stuffing or gravy. Find the items that your family really loves and just serve that. Every holiday I choose to make Garlic Mashed Potatoes (and small plain mashed potatoes for my brother) because that is what everyone will definitely eat. It’s now a family tradition. Another thing I always do is make cookies and serve them on my Thanksgiving Pie Tin that I purchased years ago and truly love. That is another of my traditions. Keep it simple. Don’t forget to delegate so everyone plays a part and you can enjoy your holiday too.
4. Start a holiday gratitude list.
No matter what your situation there is always something to be grateful for. I absolutely believe that the more thankful you are the more good things show up in your life. Before you sit down with your family for Christmas or Hanukkah or attend your company holiday party, make a list of everything that you are grateful for. Sounds corny, I know, but it will truly lift your spirits and raise your energy. Here are some of the things that I am grateful for: my husband’s improving health, my new job, my wonderful mother, my neighbors that I see when walking my little dog Trixie, that I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear, and that my grown son is turning in to such a generous and loving person. Did bad things happen this year? Absolutely, but the biggest thing I am grateful for is that we are all here!
5. Remember you are creating memories.
When I think back on holidays in the past it triggers feelings. Your family will not remember that the turkey was dry or that you had a big wine stain on your shirt, but they will remember that you made them feel loved, included, and special.
As I get older, I am acutely aware (actually painfully aware) that everyone may not be at our Thanksgiving or Christmas table with us next year. All families have drama of some sort and lots of personalities, but my goal is to be the best version of myself. That includes being as loving, giving, and helpful as I can so when we look back on these days we have wonderful memories. Eventually it may be all we have.
Check out more of Holly’s posts where she shares her journey on her Road to Reinvention.
Holly Zucker is a wife, mother of a grown son, business owner and on the “Road to Reinvention”. After feeling like she had “lost herself” she has spent the last few years bringing back joy, pleasure, passion, fun, and community into her life. Her mission is to help other women “reinvent themselves” and start living their dreams and desires. We’ve done so much for everyone else, it’s our turn now!
MyTeenGuide says
December 8, 2015 at 1:56 amThese are great tips. My family tries to keep every holiday as simple as possible. What matters is we are all together and we create new memories every year.
Sarah Bailey says
December 8, 2015 at 6:33 amI love these tips – I think we can all be guilty of trying to compare ourselves to others way to often. x
Heather Johnson says
December 8, 2015 at 6:37 amTo make the holidays stress free, I always start early. I get all the preparation done in a leisurely fashion, and then I do not feel rushed and stressed as the holiday approaches.
aimee fauci says
December 8, 2015 at 9:18 amLove creating memories and I always tell my girls.. even if we are not having fun… just know we are creating a memory to make the best of it. I love Christmas and I love to not over plan.
Lisa Jacqueline Lewis says
December 8, 2015 at 12:17 pmThese are great tips for the holidays! I love the “keep it simple” tip! I’m all for that!
Liz Mays says
December 8, 2015 at 1:23 pmI really need to keep this in mind this year. I’d love to have a relaxing holiday and really live in the moment for a few days.
Carmen Perez (listen2mama) says
December 8, 2015 at 1:57 pmWhat a great post. So many of us start to feel overwhelmed with the holidays, and for all of the wrong reasons too. I just really love to spend quality time with my family and I love to decorate the house.
Mama to 5 BLessings says
December 8, 2015 at 6:37 pmGreat points. I am all about simplicity this year – we do not even have one Christmas decoration up yet. Time is running out so I am definitely going simple!
Amber NElson says
December 8, 2015 at 6:44 pmThose are great tips. It should be a happy thing, not stressful.
Onica {Mommy Factor} says
December 9, 2015 at 2:47 amThese are all great tips. In order to have a joyful Christmas we need first to be thankful in all the blessings and Just be yourself 🙂
Annemarie LeBlanc says
December 9, 2015 at 3:45 amMy aunt is all about slaving over the stove days before Christmas and then she would be dead tired on Christmas day itself. I do not want this to happen to me, so I plan ahead and avoid the holiday rush.
Ann Bacciaglia says
December 9, 2015 at 9:43 amNow tat my kids are older i do not stress out as much on the holidays. I keep it simple and spend the time with my family.
Amanda || Growing Up Madison says
December 9, 2015 at 6:54 pmThose are all really great tips. I’m thinking that this year I’m going to go really simple. It’s just going to be me and the kids so no need to go all out.
Toughcookiemommy says
December 9, 2015 at 8:16 pmI think comparing can be such a terrible thing. Everyone should be grateful and happy with what they have instead of comparing themselves to others.
Annemarie LeBlanc says
December 10, 2015 at 3:43 amThese are all great tips. My family and I always make sure we take lots and lots of pictures during our annual Christmas reunion. You are right, creating memories are always the best.
Babita says
December 10, 2015 at 7:13 amI always feel that Holidays and celebrations are all about memories. I still joyfully remember all the fun we used to have during holidays when I was a child.
Ashley @irishred02 says
December 10, 2015 at 7:19 amYou are spot on with this list. Especially the simple part. I use to get all worked up and now I just keep it simple and try to remember it’s not about the stuff it’s about the love!
Kelly Hutchinson says
December 10, 2015 at 9:11 amI am always telling my husband to slow down because we are making memories. It is important to do that for our kids.
maria @ closetohome says
December 10, 2015 at 10:30 amFunny you mention comparing, my son is having trouble doing this with friends at his new school. Comparison is the their of joy!
wheelchair mommy says
December 10, 2015 at 8:37 pmThese are great. Christmas can be really tough. So much pressure.
Censie says
December 10, 2015 at 9:18 pmThese are great things to remember. I think I have to remember to not have WAY too high expectations. Just enjoy the moment.
Jamie says
December 10, 2015 at 9:26 pmThe holidays can be so stressful, I agree with starting earlier. It gives you plenty of time to get everything done!
Kimberly Dickerson says
December 11, 2015 at 1:18 amI love everything about this post and I agree with all 5. I think simplicity definitely comes with age. When I was younger I may have compared my holiday to others but I stopped doing that awhile ago. It’s a great feeling when you realize how pointless the compare game is. Happy Holidays!
Joanne says
December 13, 2015 at 12:19 pmI’m getting ready to read The Desire Map also so it was nice to see it mentioned here. I love this time of year and don’t understand why people make it so stressful. Sit back, relax and drink some spiked eggnog!!
Renee Rousseau says
December 22, 2015 at 11:44 amThanks for the informative and helpful suggestions to ease the Holiday stress we all sometimes succumb to. When choices have to be made I always choose tradition.
Tina Gilbert says
December 22, 2015 at 5:42 pmThese are really great ideas!! Our family likes to focus more on spending time with each other and doing things together rather that all the material things.
Connie Roberts says
December 22, 2015 at 8:14 pmI’ve learned to stop comparing, especially on social media. Lots of those photos are staged and took ages to take.
Lisa F. says
December 26, 2015 at 12:18 pmThis Christmas I felt very little joy. The hustle and bustle and other things are just getting to me more and more each year. I will take these tips and see if I can apply them. Thanks.
BobbyB says
December 29, 2015 at 6:47 pmvery good points, ill be sure to put em into action!
Julie says
December 30, 2015 at 9:06 amGreat tips, things we should all be mindful of!