Jenny’s Journey

Meet IW’s newest blogger – Jenny Masche! Chances are we don’t really have to introduce you to Jenny. You are probably already familiar with her. Jenny and her former husband Bryan were stars of WETV’s “Raising Sextuplets” along with their charming and adorable children – Bailey, Blake, Cole, Grant, Molli and Savannah. We watched Jenny and Bryan struggle with the demands of raising their sixpack while juggling marital pressures and careers, along with fulfilling a long held desire to move to Florida from their native Arizona.

IW caught up with Jenny last August.  At that time, Jenny was indeed embarking on a new season. She and the kids were back home in Arizona and Jenny and Bryan were close to finalizing their divorce.

IW’s interview with Jenny generated a lot of reader interest and discussion. When Jenny agreed to become a regular contributor to IW, we were thrilled. If there is one thing we know about Jenny it’s that she is passionate. Passionate about motherhood, faith, family, fitness – the list goes on and on. Jenny will be touching on these topics and more in her regular contributions. She hopes you will join in the discussion.

Mommy Guilt

By Jenny Masche

Hi friends!  I have never officially blogged before, so this is a new journey for me!  I journaled quite a bit before children, but of course, since I had children, I hardly have time to brush my hair, let alone journal!  So what I think I’m going to do is just write what is going on in my life. I’ll write thoughts I have been having and just maybe writing them down will help me process some things I never get to talk about. Prayerfully, they will even help some readers along the way!

Something I’m dealing with a great bit right now is mom guilt.  Truthfully, I started struggling with mom guilt when I first found out I was having sextuplets.  I thought, “How in the world am I ever going to have enough love, enough time, enough of ME to go around?” Then I had these six precious healthy little babies!  And guess what?  Mom guilt!  Tears over “They each only get to nurse one time a day,” or “I don’t get to hold all six during their feeding times,” or “I don’t get to spend enough quality time with them at bedtime, and sometimes when they fall down and get hurt I’m knee deep in some other child’s poopy diaper, and I can’t make over to the other child to comfort them immediately!” I struggled like crazy with my guilt!

After much prayer and deep discussions and debates with God over why He would do this to me, He gave me an incredible peace that when I was not present, He was present, and where I would fail or not meet needs, He would meet their needs.  And those times they had to wait for my attention, or didn’t get enough attention, or had to be more patient than any singleton would have to be, He said, “They will develop character qualities that only I can teach them in these circumstances.”  I went through a true season of peace knowing that not only could I not meet all their needs, I didn’t have to meet all their needs, because somebody greater than me was!

So here I am again, the kids are 4½, precious, precious, precious, little people with crazy fun personalities!  And guess what? I am once again having terrible mom guilt!  After my separation and divorce, I have had to share my kids with their dad, and rightfully so (of course I have terrible guilt over the divorce, but that’s another blog.)  I want my kids to have a great relationship with their dad and I want them to have that time.  Between my working nights in the ER, and my kids leaving to go their dad’s, and there being SIX of them all having the same needs, I just don’t feel like they get enough of me.  There are certain moments when they all want me at the same exact time.  They all want to sit on my lap at the same time, or for me to hold them at the same time, or when I’m the helper in the girls’ class, the boys are so sad that I’m not the helper in their class.  In addition to this, the lack of “me time” or my just not wanting “me time” when the kids are with me, eventually wears me out. Then I get crabby with the kids, and the guilt compounds.  Do you know what I’m talking about? There are days that I feel I just can’t do anything right with them!

I doubt I’m alone in these thoughts or emotions, whether you have one child or ten.  So encouragement to all moms: It’s OK! It’s normal!  When I’m feeling this way, I will put on some of my favorite praise music and find a song, close the door to my bathroom, and fall on my knees for five minutes.  I ask the Lord for mercy; tell him I’m simply not enough; and gently He whispers to me, “You don’t have to be enough because I am. In your weakness I am strong.” I’ll take a few deep breaths; maybe quote one of my favorite scriptures such as Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Then I’ll walk back into the mad craziness of my day with six 4½ year olds. I’ll just be thankful that we are all here, thankful that I get to be a part of their lives, and thakful to God that He has it all under control so I don’t have to!  So all you imperfect moms out there:  LET IT GO!  Let go of the guilt!  You will never be enough; but you’re not meant to be!  Give yourself five minutes when you need it!  Maybe ten!  Remember He says, “There is Joy in HIS presence!”  And believe me; I’m talking to myself as I’m writing all of this.

Click here to read more of Jenny’s blog posts and interviews.

JennyMasche200 About the Author:

Jenny McClendon (Masche), star of WETV’s “Raising Sextuplets”, blogs about her journey and her passions: motherhood, faith, family, fitness.

 

 

 

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