Jenny McClendon Shares Her Thoughts On The Realities Of Divorce

Jenny Masche McClendon

Chances are you know Jenny McClendon better as Jenny Masche, one of the stars of WETV’s “Raising Sextuplets” along with her adorable sextuplets and ex-husband Bryan Masche. Jenny and Bryan have since divorced and Jenny married Levi McClendon in March of 2012. Jenny gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Cash Allen, this past January and they are raising their blended family in Arizona.

By Jenny McClendon

I’m writing this because the issue that has most heavily weighed on my heart in the past year is my divorce. My hope is that anyone experiencing similar issues or contemplating divorce will gain a little insight from my journey that I am on and that I will possibly help someone who is walking a similar path.

I have had an amazing year, needless to say: An uneventful pregnancy and smooth delivery of a healthy, beautiful adorable baby boy, six precious children that are turning six who make me feel like I’m the luckiest mom in the world, two step sons that I genuinely enjoy and love, and a man that I’m so in love with and so proud to call my husband!

So the question is why? Why do I have days that are so dark, where I feel so sad and have so much guilt and regret? Fear of the future and anxiety for my kids? These are issues I have been working through this past year and in my opinion it comes down to experiencing the “consequences of divorce”. I’m not saying everyone will experience these consequences or emotions; maybe they’ll experience a totally different set of emotions. However, for me, these are the emotions I experience and some days are just SO HARD!!

When I think of the pain I caused another human being (my ex) or the questions my kids face like, “Why do we have to go back and forth?” and “Why did you divorce our dad?”… my heart drops, and immediately I wish I could make it different for them! Yet I’m not sure if I would/could make it different. The sextuplets are my world and I’m thankful every day that God gave me these precious gifts, and for that reason alone I’m thankful for my first marriage. In addition, I feel so overwhelmingly blessed that God gave me a husband like Levi, who treats me better than I ever could have imagined, and a marriage that I have always longed for. And yet another blessing, a precious, amazing new little addition, Cash Allen, who all ten of us can’t imagine life without.

You would think, “Wow, life seems so perfect! And how happy she must be!” And generally speaking, I am happy and thankful! However, there are days that I experience sorrow and regret and think “What if?” or “Should I have done this or that?” or “Why God, couldn’t I just have 9 amazing kids from one amazing man and a nuclear family like I always dreamed of?!? Are you hearing me? How can it be so good and yet so hard all at the same time? How do I make sense of all of this?”

I have a best girlfriend who is in similar shoes as I am: we both went through divorces, found what we believe to be “the right one” and are living in blended families. I occasionally get a text, “How can I do this?” She shares issues with money, her ex, step children, blending families… so many emotions she’s not sure she can do it and wishes she could go back 15 years and make different choices the first go around! Every time we talk I think “I’m so sorry you are going through this! Yet I’m so glad I’m not alone in all these crazy emotions that I’m experiencing!” Currently I am in the midst of these emotions so I don’t really have an answer to how or when they will subside… or if they ever do. According to a few books on blending families and remarriage, that it takes about 7 years. That seems so long!

Bottom line, I don’t have the answers. Genuinely, I’m happy and thankful and I feel tremendously blessed and know my kids are witnessing a healthy, loving relationship between a man and a woman! But in the blessing is very mixed emotions of sadness and pain. I hate to be writing about something depressing, but it is reality!  I simply want others to know that if they are living the same reality, they are not alone! If you are about to walk down a similar road or path, these are some of the natural consequences that exist with choosing divorce. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. I do know that God says he hates it, and I believe he hates it because he knows it is painful for his children. So I will continue to walk forward, praying for healing and loving my husband and my children daily. Helping them through any of the consequences they face from my choices.

I do know I serve a gracious and merciful God and for that reason alone I have Hope! And I know time will heal. Hopefully in the next blog post (be it in 6 months or a year), I will be writing on a different subject!! :-)

Click here to read more of Jenny’s blog posts and interviews.

JennyMasche200 About the Author:

Jenny McClendon (Masche), star of WETV’s “Raising Sextuplets”, blogs about her journey and her passions: motherhood, faith, family, fitness.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Patty says

    Thank you Jenny for your honest and heart felt words on life after divorce. I am certain it will help many people.

    I am glad for you and your children that you have found true love.

  2. says

    It certainly doesn’t sound like you made your decision lightly. I don’t think it is wrong to have occasional bouts of sadness since it is healthy to mourn things we have lost. It sounds like you are moving forward with a great attitude and wise perspective. Your children are lucky to have a mother so concerned for her and their happiness and well-being.

  3. says

    Being married is difficult without children once you have children roles change and things change. It is just the way it is. I think in divorce there are lessons to be learned and what is important is that you learn from the painful situation. Life overall is not easy, but we all have the chance to make choices. I would say many times being married to someone isn’t the right choice anymore and you have to decide to stay or move on. Your children will be fine as long as you stick with them and love them. It sounds like you have a great family now.

  4. Lily@IW says

    Such a good post Jenny and I’m sure many who have gone through divorce can relate. Imo, it’s hard because you are a caring person. You love your children and want the best for them. Doing the right thing (and healthy thing) isn’t the easy road. Relationships don’t always work out no matter how differently we want it to be. Yes, it would be wonderful if we could go back in time and make different choices. Lol, sign me up for that one. I’m not sure of your instance, but I think sometimes women (moms) suffer the guilt of failed marriage unnecessarily. We can be our own guilt machines. It’s natural, we want so much for our children’s lives.

    Your new family sounds wonderful and I wish you peace of mind. I’m sure it’ll come in time.

  5. says

    Obviously this divorce was not taken lightly and you put a lot of thought into it. All relationships have problems and sometimes they don’t work out. Jenny, you are a caring mother who loves your children. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and feel guilty over things beyond our control. Your children know they are loved. Hugs to you!

  6. says

    Oh, Jenny – what an honest and relatable post. I think your feelings reveal your compassionate side and also the part of you that is seeking to learn, grow and make yourself a better human being. I was just talking to someone today about how kids are so resilient and can thrive in a variety of circumstances. Love is what is important. And acceptance. It sounds like all the kids have lots of love from their mom, dad, step-dad and all your extended family. You will face challenges, but you will meet them. Hang in there and I look forward to your future blog posts! Love to hear more about how it is mothering one instead of six at the same time. You are in a select group of moms with that one! :-)

  7. says

    Divorce is a hard thing to deal with especially as a child/teen; my parents are divorced and it still effects me in some ways. Thank you for the great post!

  8. says

    You’re a strong woman jenny, Be positive always. This Divorce word scares me, You know we just celebrated our grand parents 60th marriage anniversary, and it feels amazing that my grandparents are living a wonderful life. I just hope no one will face this and if it happens to someone then God give them strength.

  9. says

    This is a great post. However, one of the reasons why I vowed I would never get married is because of the divorce rates. I am not really trying to go through all of that. It seems as though some marriages can work but most people end up living a lie all for the happiness of their kids and I personally prefer not to have to be stuck in that type of situation.

  10. says

    I’m a child of divorced parents and it does take work, we were actually good with everything and there were no new kids coming in for my sister and I right away. My mom and step dad did have 3 together and it was great. I think for them they all stayed civil: my mom, my dad and my step dad and things were great. It’s work and if people remember that it’s not always going to be perfect you will be okay,

  11. Erinn S says

    Great story, I guess it is called Coping. We have no control of how our body needs to cope other than to know it doesn’t last forever!

  12. says

    I have never heard of this show. Fortunately I have never been divorced so it is truly hard for me to wrap my head around anything you are feeling. But I do have friends that have been through the marriage, divorce, remarriage and now have blended families.

  13. Amanda Rodriguez says

    I think we all deal with our own dark issues and wondering “why me”? It may not be divorce for all, but maybe illness, infertility, things that just don’t seem fair, because life is not fair. Great post!

  14. JennieIW says

    Jenny, I can tell that you are really speaking from the heart here and I appreciate your honesty. I don’t have the answers but I think it’s hard because life is hard. If you had a nuclear family with one husband and nine children you’d have a different set of challenges. Maybe you have guilt that complicates things; it’s hard enough to undergo trials but to feel responsible for those trials, as women so often do, makes it even harder, I think. I will say that as a child who grew up with parents in an unhappy marriage, I wanted my parents to divorce far earlier than they did (when I was 16). I didn’t understand the economic realities that kept my mom with my dad, but I knew that our home was happier and more relaxed without him in it. That’s a harsh statement, but it’s the truth. I don’t think growing up in a home where there is unhappiness and tension between the parents benefits the children.

  15. Maria Iemma says

    I was divorced over 40 years ago and it was a painful experience. As a battered woman I was so afraid of him that I just walked out and left everything behind. The best thing I’ve done in my whole life.
    Several years later I met my husband and learned to be really happy.

  16. Diane says

    As always, I am sending good wishes out for Jenny and her family. I think most people have issues in their lives over which they have second thoughts.
    Life itself, is hard. Marriages, divorces, blending families are all difficult.
    I hope Jenny finds peace and can fully embrace the happiness she deserves.
    I also hope that Bryan finds happiness. As I was reading this and came to the part where her children are asking why she divorced their dad, I had to wonder if Bryan doesn’t talk about their marriage and divorce around their kids. I certainly hope not, but he has not been shy about talking about the situation to the press.
    I just hope he can find it in himself to move forward and past his negative feelings for the sake of his children.
    Good luck, Jenny, and God bless you. Everything will be okay.

  17. Marilouise Albright says

    Jenny,
    I continue to remember you in prayer.
    As a divorced Christian I can remember the turmoil of emotions.
    We stayed married for 13 years even tho’ I had wanted to leave after 6 months of marriage.
    During those long years I grew increasingly depressed. I attended every women’s retreat at my church asking for miracles. I went thru’ a 5 year program to study the entire bible in order to get as close to God as I could.
    I prayed myself out.
    With an okay from my pastor, I paid for the divorce and began to live my life.

    I am writing this to tell you that if you had stayed with that cray-cray man you’d be suicidal. He was/is a crazy maker. There is something seriously wrong with him.
    He blames you. I’ve read his statements and they reflect much bitterness.
    If this helps any, I think you are a strong, intelligent woman and you’ve been given a chance for happiness.
    Embrace your family and shake that ex off your shoes. Walk forward.
    Do not look back.
    Love,
    Marilouise

  18. Paulina says

    Dear Jenny, I believe in the marriage covenant of marriage, but I also believe that God that God does not want us to be abused. I watched your show right from the start and for the life of me, I could not understand how you managed to stay in that marriage. You deserved much better than what Brian dished out. I don’t think knows what respecting your spouse is. He treated you like a dust rag. I was glad to hear that you got a divorce because his influence was not good on you or your beautiful children. I know he’s a person and needs lots of prayer, but you did not deserve the way he treated you. I wish you only good things for your future. Paulina

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